Orange Sherbet — The Summer I Let Back In

Something is shifting. I can't name it precisely, the way you can't name the exact moment a season turns—it's summer, and then one morning it's a different kind of summer, and you didn't see the change but it happened. Something in me is beginning to turn toward the kitchen the way a plant turns toward light. Not there yet. But turning.

The chest freezer in the garage is full. The church ladies have been cooking for us since March and bless every one of them, but there are three women's versions of chicken casserole in there and a pound cake from April in the back and two containers in blue Tupperware that I cannot identify and am afraid to investigate. I spent Sunday afternoon taking inventory—not cooking, just organizing, the way Bernice always organized her pantry before a big session. It felt purposeful. It felt like something a woman who was going to cook again soon would do.

Destiny called Saturday evening from UAB and she said she'd made banana pudding. She said, "Mama, I made Marcus's banana pudding and it tasted right," and I went very still on the phone, because banana pudding was Marcus's dessert—the one I made for his birthday, with the real vanilla pudding and the Nilla wafers layered like sediment and the sliced bananas and the fresh whipped cream on top, and Marcus would eat half the bowl before it was properly chilled and then circle back after dinner for the rest. Destiny said it tasted right and she sounded both proud and broken at once, the way all of us sound these days—two things simultaneously, the joy and the grief woven so tight you can't pull them apart.

I told her, "Come home and make it for your daddy." She came Sunday afternoon and made banana pudding in my kitchen—using my bowls, my vanilla, my Nilla wafers—and I stood in the doorway and watched. I didn't help. I watched my daughter's hands doing what Marcus's appetite made necessary, and the kitchen smelled like vanilla and sweetness, and it smelled like something living. Like a room where people eat. Like a home. I stood in the doorway and I let the smell come into me and I did not close the window. I opened the window. I let the summer in.

After Destiny left Sunday evening, the kitchen still smelled like vanilla and I stood there a long time not wanting to move. I didn’t cook anything myself—I wasn’t ready for that—but I opened the refrigerator and I stood in its cold light and I thought about something bright, something the color of summer, something a person makes when she is beginning, just beginning, to want sweetness again. This orange sherbet is that thing. It’s simple enough for a woman who is still standing in doorways watching, and it’s cold and golden and it tastes like the kind of afternoon you open a window for.

Orange Sherbet

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 0 min | Freeze Time: 4 hours | Total Time: 4 hours 15 min | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• 2 cups fresh orange juice (from about 4–5 navel oranges)
• 1 tablespoon fresh orange zest
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup whole milk
• Pinch of salt

Instructions

1. Dissolve the sugar. In a medium bowl, whisk together the orange juice, orange zest, sugar, lemon juice, vanilla extract, and salt until the sugar is fully dissolved, about 2 minutes.
2. Add the milk. Stir in the whole milk until the mixture is smooth and combined. Do not worry if it looks slightly curdled—that will even out as it freezes.
3. Chill the base. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, until the mixture is very cold.
4. Churn or freeze. If using an ice cream maker, churn according to the manufacturer’s directions until it reaches a soft-serve consistency, about 20–25 minutes. If you don’t have an ice cream maker, pour the mixture into a shallow freezer-safe dish and freeze for 1 hour, then stir and scrape with a fork every 30 minutes for 2–3 hours until light and fluffy.
5. Final freeze. Transfer the sherbet to a covered container and freeze for at least 2 more hours, until firm enough to scoop.
6. Serve. Let the sherbet sit at room temperature for 5 minutes before scooping. Serve in bowls or cones, garnished with a thin orange slice or a little extra zest if you like.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 148 | Protein: 1g | Fat: 2g | Carbs: 33g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 28mg