Old Fashioned Coffee Pudding -- The Bitterness That Rounds Things Out

February is trying to leave but can't quite find the door. We had two days in the fifties this week — warm enough to open the kitchen window while I cooked, warm enough to smell the outside mixed with the inside, which is my favorite combination because the outside smells like possibility and the inside smells like onions and both of those are good things to breathe.

Made a big pot of chili Tuesday. Not Texas chili, not competition chili, just chili — ground beef browned in the Dutch oven with onion and garlic, canned tomatoes, two kinds of beans, chili powder and cumin and a little brown sugar and a splash of coffee left over from the morning. The coffee is my addition. Betty didn't put coffee in chili. Betty didn't drink coffee after noon because she said afternoon coffee was a sign of poor planning in the morning. But coffee in chili adds a bitterness that rounds out the sweetness of the tomatoes, and I reckon Betty would've approved once she tasted it, though she never would have admitted it.

Clay is settling back into the routine. Two weeks since the relapse, and he's back with Dr. Rivera, back in the Thursday group, steady enough that Connie has stopped watching him the way you watch a pot that might boil over. He came by Wednesday for soup beans. We ate at the kitchen table and he talked about a documentary about Vietnam veterans and how their homecoming was worse than his and how that made him feel guilty for struggling. I said guilt about struggling is just another kind of struggling and it doesn't help. He looked at me like I'd said something wise. I hadn't. I'd said something obvious. But sometimes the obvious needs saying.

The walking continues. Two miles every morning. I'm down to 240 from 248, eight pounds in six weeks. Connie says I look better. I said better than what. She said better than December. December was not a high bar, but I'll take it.

Drove to Evarts Saturday. Betty was making stack cake for the church homecoming — seven layers, each one thin as a playing card, the dried apple filling dark and spiced and smelling like every fall of my childhood. I sat and watched her work. Her hands know things her mind doesn't need to remember anymore. Eighty-two years old and her stack cake is still the best I've ever eaten.

The coffee in Tuesday’s chili got me thinking — about how a bitter note doesn’t ruin a thing, it completes it, the way a hard winter makes you appreciate an open window in February. Betty never would’ve put coffee in her chili, but I think she’d have understood this pudding, the kind of old-fashioned dessert that belongs on the same table as stack cake and soup beans and all the food that means someone was thinking of you when they cooked it. After a week of steady, hopeful days, this felt like the right thing to make.

Old Fashioned Coffee Pudding

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• 2 cups strong brewed coffee, cooled to room temperature
• 1 cup whole milk
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• Whipped cream, for serving (optional)

Instructions

1. Combine dry ingredients. In a medium saucepan, whisk together the sugar, cornstarch, and salt until evenly blended.
2. Add the liquids. Gradually whisk in the brewed coffee and milk, making sure no dry lumps remain at the bottom of the pan.
3. Cook the pudding. Place the saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture thickens and begins to bubble, about 12–15 minutes. Once it bubbles, cook for 1 minute more.
4. Finish with butter and vanilla. Remove from heat and stir in the butter and vanilla extract until the butter is fully melted and incorporated.
5. Pour and chill. Divide the pudding evenly among six small cups or ramekins. Press a sheet of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of each to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, until fully set.
6. Serve. Top with a dollop of whipped cream if you like, and serve cold or at cool room temperature.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 160 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 5g | Carbs: 27g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 115mg