It is the last week of September and the air has finally changed. This happens every year and it always catches me a little off guard—one morning it is still summer, heavy and insistent, and then you wake up and it is not, and the light is doing that particular fall thing where it comes in low and golden through the kitchen window and lands on the counter like it is trying to stay a while. I noticed it Tuesday morning while I was making Noah’s lunch, and I stood there for a second longer than I needed to, just watching it.
The house is quieter this fall. Ethan is still in the Philippines, of course—we got a letter from him last week, two pages in his careful handwriting about the ward he is serving in and a woman he baptized named Maribel and how much he misses my taco soup, which made me laugh and then cry a little, which is basically just how things go now. Olivia is back at BYU, deep in her second year, calling on Sundays and texting just enough to let me know she is alive and eating. Mason is figuring out his next steps, which is a polite way of saying he is eighteen and has the particular restlessness of someone standing at a door he hasn’t opened yet. He is home, but he is already a little bit gone in the way that eighteen-year-olds are, one foot always pointed toward whatever comes next.
So it is mostly Lily, Noah, Brandon, and me around the table these days. Seven has become four, at least during the week, and the table sounds different. Louder in some ways—Noah has been performing more lately, doing impressions of his teachers that are genuinely funny enough that Brandon and I have to hide our faces so we don’t encourage him too much—but also quieter underneath it all. The absence of people is a specific kind of sound. I have learned to hear it.
This is not a sad post. I just want to be accurate.
On Sunday I made bread.
I have not made bread in a while. It is the kind of thing that falls away when life gets too loud or too heavy, even though it probably shouldn’t, even though the act of making bread is one of the oldest comfort technologies humans possess. I went through a stretch this spring and into summer where I could barely manage dinners, where the freezer meals I had stockpiled were the only thing standing between my family and drive-through tacos three nights a week, and I am not ashamed of that. I did what I could. But I missed baking. I missed the particular meditative quality of it, the way it asks you to slow down and be present in a way that my regular cooking doesn’t always require.
The recipe I made is one I have been meaning to try for over a year. My friend Tammy from the ward kept telling me about it—no-knead bread, she said, four ingredients, you mix it the night before and let time do the work, and in the morning you bake it in a Dutch oven and it comes out looking like something from an artisan bakery. I was skeptical. I have made bread my whole life, or rather I grew up watching my mother make bread my whole life, which is not quite the same thing but is close. And I knew how bread was supposed to work: you had to knead it, you had to coax the gluten, you had to put something of yourself into it. The idea that you could just… stir it and leave it felt like cheating.
Tammy looked at me and said, “Michelle. You have five kids and you run a freezer meal workshop. You do not need to be precious about bread.”
She was not wrong.
So on Saturday night, after the kids were in bed and Brandon was watching something in the living room, I mixed three cups of flour with a quarter teaspoon of yeast and a teaspoon and a half of salt, added a cup and a half of water, stirred it twelve times with a wooden spoon—not twelve times exactly, just until it came together into a shaggy, improbable lump—covered the bowl with plastic wrap, and went to bed. That was it. Ten minutes of effort and then I just… left it there on the counter, and the yeast and the time and whatever miracle governs fermentation took over from there.
In the morning I put my Dutch oven in the oven and turned it to 450 degrees and let it preheat for thirty minutes, which I spent helping Noah find his left shoe (it was in the garage, next to the lawnmower, I do not know either) and starting a grocery list and drinking a second cup of coffee while looking at the photo above the stove. Grace in the bathtub. Three months old, soap in her hair.
I do that most mornings. Just look at her for a minute. I used to feel guilty about not thinking about her every single second, like moving through a normal day was a kind of forgetting. I don’t feel that way anymore, or at least I am working on not feeling that way anymore. My therapist said something once that I keep returning to: that grief doesn’t live in the minutes you spend thinking about the person you lost. It lives in the shape of your whole life. Grace is in the shape of everything. She is in the reason I freeze meals so that dinner is handled before the day can unravel. She is in why I notice the light on the counter and do not look away.
When the Dutch oven was hot, I turned my shaggy, overnight-risen dough out onto a floured surface. It had puffed up and developed these gorgeous bubbles and it smelled — it smelled like my mother’s kitchen in Orem. That particular fermented, yeasty, flour-warm smell that I associate with Saturday mornings before church and my mom in her robe at the counter and a feeling of safety so complete it was almost embarrassing, in retrospect, that I didn’t know how rare it was.
I am not my mother’s caliber of baker. I do not have her patience for it. But I have her Dutch oven—she gave it to me when Brandon and I got our first house, a heavy enameled cast iron thing that she had used for decades, still going strong—and I had this dough and a Sunday morning, and I shaped the dough into a rough ball and dropped it into that hot pot and put the lid on and slid it into the oven and just waited.
Twenty minutes with the lid on. Then I took the lid off for another fifteen, and the kitchen filled with a smell so good that Noah came in from the living room and stood in the doorway and said, “What is that?” like he was trying to identify something he hadn’t encountered before. And Lily, who is sixteen and in her current phase of communicating primarily in sighs, came downstairs without being called and sat on the kitchen counter and watched the last few minutes with me.
We didn’t talk much. We just stood there, the two of us, while the bread finished.
I let it cool for exactly twelve minutes because you are supposed to let it cool and I knew if I didn’t give myself a specific number I would cut into it immediately and destroy the crumb. Then I cut it. The crust shattered the way good bread crust is supposed to shatter—that hard, hollow crack that sounds like a promise—and the interior was open and chewy and perfect and I could not believe, I genuinely could not believe, that I had stirred this together in ten minutes the night before and left it alone.
We ate the whole thing. Noah ate three slices with butter. Lily ate two and then took a third and didn’t say anything about it, which is sixteen-year-old for “this is delicious.” Brandon ate his standing at the counter, still in his church clothes, and looked at me with an expression I recognized as his version of the feeling I had when I first smelled the dough: something old and good and unexpectedly arrived.
I texted Tammy: “You were right. I was being precious about bread.”
She sent back a string of laughing emojis and then: “Make it every week. It takes less time than your grocery list.”
She is not wrong about that either.
The bread freezes beautifully, by the way—slice it after it cools completely, wrap each slice or wrap the whole loaf tightly in plastic wrap and then foil, freeze up to three months. Pull it out and let it thaw on the counter or warm it in a 300-degree oven still wrapped for fifteen minutes. It will not be quite as shattering as fresh, but it will still be bread you made with your own hands and almost no effort, and on a Tuesday night when dinner is already in the Crock-Pot and you just want something warm and good, a slice of this with butter is enough to make the evening feel like something you chose rather than something that happened to you.
I am going to make it again this Saturday. I already promised Noah.
The bread my friend described—no kneading, almost no effort, just time doing the work for you—felt exactly right for a week when I needed something to feel manageable and mine. I wanted to prove to myself that I could make something real without it being a whole production, and this recipe did exactly that. Here’s how it goes.
No-Knead Crusty White Bread
Prep Time: 10 minutes + 12–18 hours rest | Cook Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 13–19 hours | Servings: 12 slices
Ingredients
- 3 cups (360g) all-purpose flour, plus more for shaping
- 1/4 teaspoon active dry yeast
- 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
- 1 1/2 cups warm water (about 110°F—warm on your wrist, not hot)
Instructions
- Mix the dough. The night before (or at least 12 hours before you want to bake), combine flour, yeast, and salt in a large bowl and stir to mix. Add the warm water and stir with a wooden spoon or your hand until just combined—the dough will look rough and shaggy, and that is exactly right. Do not overmix. It takes about one minute.
- Let it rest. Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap or a plate and leave it on the counter at room temperature for 12 to 18 hours. The dough will puff, develop bubbles on the surface, and smell pleasantly yeasty. This is the yeast doing all the work you are not doing. Resist the urge to check on it every hour.
- Preheat the Dutch oven. When you are ready to bake, place a 4- to 6-quart Dutch oven (lid on) in your oven and heat to 450°F. Let it preheat for at least 30 minutes. The hot pot is what gives the bread its crust.
- Shape the dough. Flour a work surface generously. Scrape the dough out—it will be sticky and loose—and fold it over itself two or three times. Shape it gently into a rough ball. You can also use two forks or floured hands to fold it in the bowl if you prefer less mess. Do not punch it down or work it hard; you want to preserve those bubbles.
- Rest before baking. Set the shaped dough on a piece of parchment paper, cover loosely with a clean kitchen towel, and let it rest for 15 minutes while the Dutch oven finishes heating. This is a good time to clear the counter and refill your coffee.
- Bake covered. Carefully lift the dough by the parchment paper and lower it into the screaming-hot Dutch oven. Cover with the lid and bake for 20 minutes. Do not lift the lid during this time. The steam trapped inside is what makes the crust.
- Bake uncovered. Remove the lid and bake for another 15 minutes, until the crust is deep golden brown and the internal temperature reads 200°F. The crust should look darker than you think it should—you want color for flavor.
- Cool before cutting. Lift the bread out using the parchment and transfer to a wire rack. Wait at least 15 minutes before cutting. I know. I know. But if you cut it too soon you will compress the crumb and ruin the texture, and you did not wait twelve hours to ruin it now.
To freeze: Allow bread to cool completely. Slice the whole loaf, then wrap tightly in plastic wrap and place in a zip-top freezer bag. Freeze up to 3 months. To reheat, wrap individual slices in a damp paper towel and microwave 20–30 seconds, or warm the whole loaf (still wrapped in foil) in a 300°F oven for 15 minutes.
Notes: The ratio of yeast to flour is intentionally very small—that is not a typo. Low yeast plus long rest equals big flavor. If you need the bread same-day, you can increase to 1 teaspoon of yeast and let it rest 2 hours at room temperature, but the overnight version is better. For a slightly more rustic flavor, substitute 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour for 1/2 cup of the all-purpose. The loaf will be slightly denser but still wonderful.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 115 | Protein: 3g | Fat: 0.5g | Carbs: 24g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 290mg