By April 2029. My first grandchild was born on April 18th. A girl. They named her Clara Grace Larson. Clara, which is the name Mia's grandmother carries. Grace, which is the name that carries everything.
Ethan called me at the hospital at two in the morning. He said, "She's here." I said, "She's here." He said, "We named her Clara Grace." I held the phone very still. He said, "Is that okay?" I said, "It's more than okay. It's everything." He cried. I cried. Gary, who was awake beside me, reached over and held my hand and I said, "They named her Clara Grace," and he went very still for a moment and then said, "Yes. That's right." He understood. It's the most right thing I've heard in years.
We drove to the hospital the next morning — Gary and me and Noah, who took the day off school because this was not a day to be at school. We stood in the room and I held Clara Grace Larson for the first time. She was four days old and small and entirely present. I held her and felt every year of the fourteen years since her namesake, the grief and the kitchen and the books and the family and the workshops and all the way around back to this: a baby named Grace in my arms in a hospital room in April.
I made everyone in the room cry. Not on purpose. By holding her and saying quietly: "Hello, Grace. I've been waiting to meet you." That's all. That's everything.
We came home from the hospital that evening quieter than we left it — full in a way that doesn’t have a proper word. Gary went to sit in the backyard. Noah put on a movie. And I went to the kitchen, because that’s where I go when something too large to hold has happened and I need to do something with my hands. I made Nana’s Rocky Road Fudge — the recipe that has shown up at every celebration in this family for as long as I can remember — because Clara Grace deserved something made, something sweet, something that said: we have been waiting for you, and now you are here.
Nana’s Rocky Road Fudge
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 20 minutes + 2 hours chilling | Servings: 36 pieces
Ingredients
- 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups miniature marshmallows
- 1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts
- 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips (optional, for topping)
Instructions
- Prepare the pan. Line a 9x9-inch baking pan with parchment paper, leaving overhang on two sides for easy lifting. Lightly grease the parchment with butter or nonstick spray.
- Melt the chocolate base. In a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan over low heat, combine the semi-sweet chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk, and butter. Stir constantly until fully melted and smooth, about 6—8 minutes. Do not let it scorch.
- Add flavor. Remove from heat. Stir in the vanilla extract and salt until fully incorporated.
- Fold in the mix-ins. Working quickly before the chocolate begins to set, fold in the miniature marshmallows and chopped walnuts. Stir gently so the marshmallows remain mostly intact and visible.
- Pour and spread. Pour the fudge mixture into the prepared pan. Use a spatula to spread it evenly into the corners. If using, scatter the 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips across the top and press lightly.
- Chill. Refrigerate uncovered for at least 2 hours, or until completely firm.
- Cut and serve. Lift the fudge from the pan using the parchment overhang. Place on a cutting board and slice into 36 squares (6 rows by 6 rows). Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days, or refrigerated for up to 2 weeks.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 145 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 18g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 35mg