Mustard Vegetable Dip -- While the Words Wait for Strangers

The manuscript is with publishers. Rachel is submitting. The waiting begins — a different waiting than the waiting for Rachel's read, because this waiting involves strangers, people who do not know me, who have not sat in my classroom or eaten my rugelach, who will read the book without the context of knowing Ruth and who will decide, based solely on the words, whether the book deserves to exist in the world. The words must stand alone. The sentences must hold. The architecture must bear the weight. I taught this for forty-three years. Now I am testing it. My sentences are being tested by strangers, and the testing is the terror, and the terror is the price of the ambition, and the ambition is the book.

Meanwhile: the visits continue. Day 830-something. I have stopped counting the exact days because the exact counting was making the visits feel like a sentence rather than a choice, and the visits are a choice — the best choice I make every day, the choice to drive to Cedarhurst at two o'clock with food and a book and the love, the daily renewal of the vow, the daily crossing of the bridge. The counting can stop. The crossing does not.

I made a summer vegetable gratin — zucchini, tomatoes, eggplant, layered with Parmesan and breadcrumbs and baked until golden. The gratin is French, not Ashkenazi, but the kitchen does not observe national boundaries, and the gratin is good, and good transcends origin, and the transcending is the cooking, and the cooking is mine.

The gratin went to Cedarhurst, and when I came home to the empty kitchen and the silent inbox, I needed something to do with my hands — something that required no waiting, no strangers, no verdict. I made this dip. It is sharp and honest, like a sentence that knows what it wants to say, and it keeps well in the refrigerator through all the days the answer has not yet come.

Mustard Vegetable Dip

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 10 minutes | Servings: 8

Ingredients

• 1 cup mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
• 1 tablespoon whole-grain mustard
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
• Assorted fresh vegetables for serving (carrots, celery, cucumber, bell pepper strips, radishes, cherry tomatoes)

Instructions

1. Combine the base. In a medium bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise and sour cream until smooth and fully incorporated.
2. Add the mustards. Stir in the Dijon and whole-grain mustards, mixing until evenly blended. The two mustards together give the dip both sharpness and texture.
3. Season and brighten. Add the lemon juice, honey, garlic powder, and smoked paprika. Whisk to combine. Taste and adjust with salt and black pepper as needed.
4. Chill. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes to allow the flavors to come together. The dip keeps well, covered, for up to 5 days.
5. Serve. Transfer to a serving bowl and arrange the fresh vegetables alongside for dipping.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 210 | Protein: 1g | Fat: 21g | Carbs: 4g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 280mg