November rain. The kitchen running miso every morning. Sunday farmers market. Tomatoes, shiso, kabocha when in season, mushrooms in fall. The shopping list is short and exact.
Miya, 9, can shape onigiri without falling apart. She uses wet hands. She knows the order without being told.
Oyakodon for dinner. Chicken and egg over rice. The simple weeknight bowl.
The shiso. The chipped bowl. The newsletter on Sunday.
Therapy Tuesday. We talked about the wedding. We talked about Barbara. We talked about Fumiko. The hour passed. The work continues.
The neighbor's dog barked at nothing for twenty minutes Sunday afternoon. The neighbor apologized. I told him I had been writing through it and the white noise was helpful. He laughed.
A panic flicker Tuesday evening, brief, manageable. I breathed. I drank water. I went outside and walked around the block. The flicker passed. The body did its work.
I read for an hour Sunday night. A book of essays by a Korean-American writer about food and grief. I underlined a paragraph that said exactly what I had been trying to say in the newsletter for months.
Coffee with a friend Saturday morning. We talked about books, about kids, about the way our forties became our fifties. The talking is the thing.
Miya is in elementary school. The Saturday Japanese school continues. She still complains. She is still going.
I texted Miya a photo of the shiso. She texted back a heart and a single word: home.
Miya's old room is now my office. The desk is by the window. The shiso outside. The newsletter in progress. The afternoons are quiet.
Sunday farmers market in the rain. The vendors knew me. The Hood River apple stand had honeycrisps. I bought four pounds.
I drove to Uwajimaya Wednesday. Kombu, bonito flakes, white miso, a small bag of mochiko for tomorrow's project. The store smells like home.
I wrote at the kitchen table from six to eight. The newsletter was forming. The opening sentence was the hard sentence — they always are. I rewrote it five times. The fifth time was the right time.
A reader sent me a handwritten card this week. Her grandmother had cooked Japanese food in 1970s Boise. She had felt alone in it. The newsletter, she wrote, made her feel less alone. I taped the card to the wall above my desk.
Yoga Tuesday morning. The studio in Sellwood. Eight students. The class was the class.
The cat was the cat. Mochi at fifteen sleeps most of the day. She still eats with enthusiasm. She still sits at the kitchen window watching the back garden.
I cleaned the kitchen Sunday afternoon. Wiped the counters. Reorganized the drawer where the chopsticks live. Sharpened the knife. The reset was the reset.
I made onigiri for tomorrow's lunch. Three triangles. Salted plum in the center. Wrapped in nori. The cling wrap. The drawer where I keep them. The system.
The rain in long sheets Tuesday afternoon. I made tea. I watched it from the porch. The cottonwoods on the next block were silver in the wet.
Made dashi at five-thirty AM. Ten minutes in the kitchen alone with the kombu and the bonito flakes. The day's first prayer.
Tomi watered the garden Saturday morning. The shiso was head-high. The shishito peppers were producing. The kabocha was running on the fence.
The mushrooms I picked up at the Sunday market—the ones I almost left behind in the rain—were still sitting on the counter Wednesday evening after the Uwajimaya run, and I knew they needed to become something before the week got away from me. Oyakodon had already anchored one dinner, quiet and complete, but the mushrooms wanted a different treatment: something slow, herbed, a little savory in the way that stuffing is savory, with depth that builds rather than announces itself. This is the recipe I reach for when the season is turning and the kitchen wants to do its own thinking.
Mushroom Stuffing
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 45 min | Total Time: 1 hr 5 min | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 1 loaf (about 14 oz) day-old rustic bread, cut into 3/4-inch cubes
- 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1 medium yellow onion, diced
- 3 stalks celery, sliced thin
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 lb mixed mushrooms (cremini, shiitake, oyster), roughly chopped
- 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves (or 1/2 teaspoon dried)
- 1 teaspoon fresh sage, minced (or 1/2 teaspoon dried)
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
- 2 cups vegetable or chicken broth, warmed
- 2 large eggs, beaten
- 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
Instructions
- Dry the bread. Spread bread cubes on a baking sheet and leave uncovered overnight, or toast in a 300°F oven for 20 minutes until dry but not browned. Transfer to a large mixing bowl.
- Preheat the oven. Heat oven to 375°F. Butter a 9x13-inch baking dish and set aside.
- Soften the aromatics. Melt butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and celery and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and translucent, about 7–8 minutes. Add garlic and cook 1 minute more.
- Cook the mushrooms. Increase heat to medium-high. Add mushrooms to the skillet in a single layer (work in batches if needed) and cook without stirring for 3 minutes, then stir and continue cooking until mushrooms are browned and any liquid has evaporated, about 5–6 minutes total. Season with salt, pepper, thyme, and sage.
- Combine. Pour the mushroom mixture over the bread cubes. Add parsley and toss to distribute evenly.
- Add liquid. Whisk eggs into the warm broth, then pour over the bread mixture. Fold gently until the bread has absorbed the liquid. The mixture should be moist but not soupy; add a splash more broth if the bread still feels dry.
- Bake. Transfer to the prepared baking dish, spreading into an even layer. Cover with foil and bake 25 minutes. Remove foil and bake an additional 15–20 minutes until the top is golden and slightly crisp at the edges.
- Rest and serve. Let stand 5 minutes before serving. Garnish with additional fresh parsley if desired.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 230 | Protein: 8g | Fat: 9g | Carbs: 30g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 420mg