Monte Cristo Sandwich

Hana is ten weeks old and she laughed for the first time on Thursday. Not a giggle — a laugh, full and sudden, triggered by James making a sound that can only be described as "a duck being stepped on." He was changing her diaper and he made the duck sound and she laughed and the laugh filled the room and James and I looked at each other with the kind of awe that is reserved for first laughs and first words and first steps — the milestones that the parenting books list and that, when they happen, feel nothing like a checklist and everything like a revelation.

I recorded the laugh. I sent the recording to Jisoo. She played it back five times (she told me this; I believe her). She said, "She laughs like you. You laughed like that as a baby. I remember." She remembers my laugh from the ten days she had me. She remembers my laugh thirty years later. The persistence of a mother's memory is the most terrifying and beautiful thing I have encountered, and I have debugged distributed systems.

Banchan Labs is thriving under James and Grace. The April box shipped on time — 2,900 subscribers, close to the 3,000 James projected. He is running the company and parenting and being my husband and I do not know how he does all three. He says, "I prioritize." I say, "What do you prioritize?" He says, "You, Hana, and the company, in that order, except on shipping days when the company moves to first and everyone else adjusts." He is an honest man. The honesty is why the company works and why the marriage works and why Hana laughs at his duck sound.

Karen and David come to the condo every Saturday now. It is their grandparent day. Karen holds Hana. David builds things — this week he installed a baby gate across the hallway entrance, which is premature since Hana cannot roll over yet, let alone crawl, but David is proactive about safety in the way engineers are proactive about safety: solve the problem before it exists. The baby gate is installed. It will be useful in six months. David is satisfied. Karen says, "He installed a baby gate for a baby who cannot move." David says, "She will move eventually. I will be ready." He will be ready. He is always ready.

The recipe this week is a Korean pancake — hobakjeon — made with zucchini, which is the first spring vegetable I bought at the farmers market. Zucchini, sliced into thin rounds. Dipped in beaten egg, then in flour. Pan-fried in oil until golden on both sides. Served with a soy-vinegar dipping sauce. The pancakes are crispy and tender and taste like spring. I made them while Hana sat in her bouncer on the kitchen floor, watching me cook with the same intensity she brings to watching her own hands. She is learning the kitchen. She does not know she is learning. But she is watching, and watching is the first step, and the first step is all I need to give her right now.

The hobakjeon gets me thinking about technique — the egg dip, the flour coat, the hot oil, the patience of waiting for the right golden color before you flip — and the Monte Cristo asks for that same attention, that same rhythm of hands knowing what to do while the mind is somewhere else, somewhere full of duck sounds and first laughs. I made this on Saturday while Karen held Hana and David stood back admiring his premature baby gate, and I needed something that felt festive and golden and a little celebratory, because ten weeks in, we are celebrating everything now. The egg batter hisses in the pan the same way, the flip requires the same nerve, and when it comes out crisp and warm and dusted with powdered sugar, it feels — like a lot of things do right now — like a small, complete miracle.

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 10 min | Total Time: 20 min | Servings: 2

Ingredients

4 slices thick white sandwich bread or brioche
4 oz sliced deli ham
4 oz sliced deli turkey
4 slices Swiss cheese
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 large eggs
1/4 cup whole milk
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
Powdered sugar, for dusting
Raspberry jam or preserves, for serving

Instructions

Build the sandwiches. Spread Dijon mustard on two slices of bread and mayonnaise on the other two. Layer ham, turkey, and two slices of Swiss cheese on each mustard side, then close each sandwich with a mayonnaise slice, pressing firmly.
Make the egg batter. In a shallow bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, salt, and pepper until fully combined and slightly frothy.
Heat the pan. Melt butter in a large skillet or griddle over medium heat until foamy but not browned.
Dip and cook. Working one at a time, dip each sandwich into the egg batter, turning to coat all sides and letting the bread absorb the mixture for about 10 seconds per side. Place immediately into the hot pan.
Fry until golden. Cook for 3—4 minutes per side, pressing gently with a spatula, until each side is deep golden brown and the cheese has melted. Adjust heat as needed to avoid burning.
Serve. Transfer to a cutting board, dust generously with powdered sugar, and cut diagonally. Serve immediately with raspberry jam on the side for dipping.

Nutrition (per serving)

Monte Cristo Sandwich — The Kitchen Is Where She Learns to Watch