Million-Dollar Pie -- Worth Every Hour We Spent at That Kitchen Table

The pierogi army assembled. The real thing this time — not a practice run. Tom and Linda's kitchen was transformed into a pierogi factory. Linda, Colleen, Mrs. Wojcik, three church women, Megan's friend Jen, and me. Tom was relegated to potato peeling. Patrick was relegated to onion chopping. The men were support staff. The women ran the operation.

Day one: we made three hundred dozen. Three hundred dozen pierogi. Thirty-six hundred individual pierogi. My hands were covered in flour from 7 AM to 10 PM. The kitchen smelled like potatoes and butter and the particular warmth that only comes from a room full of women making dough. Mrs. Wojcik sat at the end of the line, inspecting each pierogi, rejecting the ones with uneven edges or too-thin dough. "Babcia would not approve," she said to one reject. She was right. Babcia would not approve. Babcia approved of perfection and nothing less.

Day two: two hundred dozen more. Total: five hundred dozen. Six thousand pierogi. Frozen in trays, stacked in Tom's chest freezer, labeled by filling. Potato and cheese: three hundred dozen. Sauerkraut: one hundred dozen. Turkey cranberry: one hundred dozen. The freezer is full. The pierogi are ready. The wedding is in six weeks.

At the end of the second day, Mrs. Wojcik stood in the kitchen and looked at the freezer and said, "Helen would be happy." She meant Babcia. She used her first name. Nobody uses Babcia's first name — she was always Babcia, always Grandma, always the role before the name. But Mrs. Wojcik knew her when they were both young. She knew Helen. And Helen would be happy. I believe this with everything I have.

When the last tray went into the freezer on day two and Mrs. Wojcik said Helen would be happy, none of us wanted to leave. We stood around Tom and Linda’s kitchen not quite ready to let go of whatever we’d made in that room — and I don’t just mean the pierogi. Linda disappeared for twenty minutes and came back with this pie, something her mother used to make after big cooking days, no fuss, no oven, just sweet and cold and exactly right. It felt like the only possible ending to those two days: something a little over-the-top, a little joyful, something that honored the word “celebration” without requiring any of us to stand up for very long.

Million-Dollar Pie

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: None | Total Time: 2 hours 15 minutes (includes chilling) | Servings: 16 (two 9-inch pies)

Ingredients

• 2 (9-inch) graham cracker pie crusts, store-bought or homemade
• 2 (14 oz) cans sweetened condensed milk
• 2/3 cup fresh or bottled lemon juice
• 2 (8 oz) containers frozen whipped topping (such as Cool Whip), thawed
• 1 (20 oz) can crushed pineapple, well drained
• 1 cup sweetened shredded coconut
• 1 cup chopped pecans
• 1 cup maraschino cherries, halved and patted dry, plus whole cherries for garnish

Instructions

1. Combine the base. In a large bowl, whisk together the sweetened condensed milk and lemon juice until the mixture thickens slightly, about 2 minutes.
2. Fold in the filling. Gently fold in the thawed whipped topping until just combined. Do not overmix — you want to keep the mixture light and airy.
3. Add the mix-ins. Stir in the drained crushed pineapple, shredded coconut, chopped pecans, and halved maraschino cherries until evenly distributed throughout.
4. Fill the crusts. Divide the filling evenly between the two prepared graham cracker pie crusts, smoothing the tops with a spatula.
5. Chill. Refrigerate both pies for at least 2 hours, or until fully set. For best results, chill overnight.
6. Garnish and serve. Before serving, top each pie with whole maraschino cherries and an extra sprinkle of coconut or pecans if desired. Slice and serve cold.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 385 | Protein: 5g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 53g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 185mg