By Something happens when you stop drinking — not immediately, not all at once, but gradually. The world gets sharper. More present. For months I'd been living behind glass, everything muffled, every moment slightly delayed between event and response. The whiskey did that. Or maybe the PTSD. Probably both. Now the glass is thinner and getting thinner every day and it's good and also bad because the good and the bad both come through clearer.
I'm two weeks dry. That's the longest I've been in a year.
The medication schedule is three pills — morning, noon, and evening. I set alarms because I don't trust myself to remember the noon one when I'm out with the cattle. The VA sent me home with a weekly pill organizer, which is the kind of plastic thing that makes you feel ninety years old, but I use it. Small indignities in service of the larger goal.
Outpatient three days a week. The group session Wednesday had a veteran from Billings who talked about cooking — specifically about how cooking had become something he did when things got bad. I said I understood that. He looked at me and nodded. We didn't talk about it more than that. But it was the first time in a long time I felt like someone understood something without my having to explain it.
I cooked elk burgers Thursday night. Still had elk in the freezer from last fall — ground, leaner than beef, benefits from a little tallow added to the grind. Salt and garlic, cooked in the cast iron skillet. They were good. Not special, but good. The simple pleasure of feeding yourself something you made.
Patrick came in when I was eating and got himself a plate without asking, which is the Patrick Gallagher version of "that looks good." He ate the second burger and said it needed more salt. He was probably right. Two weeks dry. That's what I've got today.
The elk burgers that Thursday came together the way the best meals do—without much ceremony, just salt and heat and a cast iron skillet that’s earned its seasoning. Patrick ate the second one without asking, which is its own kind of compliment. I’ve been thinking since about what makes a burger worth making again, and it’s usually something simple riding alongside it—a sauce, a brightness, something that lifts the meat without overcomplicating it. The cilantro lime pesto on these Mexican turkey burgers does exactly that. You don’t need the elk for this one, but the spirit is the same: lean, direct, and good enough that someone might grab a plate without being invited.
Mexican Turkey Burgers with Cilantro Lime Pesto
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 27 min | Servings: 4
Ingredients
- Cilantro Lime Pesto:
- 1 cup fresh cilantro leaves, packed
- 1/4 cup pepitas (shelled pumpkin seeds), toasted
- 2 cloves garlic
- 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (about 1 lime)
- 1/4 teaspoon cumin
- 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- Burgers:
- 1 1/4 lbs ground turkey (93% lean)
- 1 teaspoon chili powder
- 1/2 teaspoon cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 tablespoon olive oil or tallow, for the pan
- 4 burger buns, toasted
- Optional toppings: sliced avocado, pepper jack cheese, pickled jalapeños, red onion, tomato
Instructions
- Make the pesto. Combine cilantro, pepitas, garlic, lime juice, cumin, and salt in a food processor or blender. Pulse until roughly chopped. With the motor running, drizzle in olive oil and blend until you have a coarse, spreadable pesto. Taste and adjust salt or lime. Set aside.
- Mix the burger patties. In a bowl, combine ground turkey with chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, smoked paprika, salt, and pepper. Mix until just combined—don’t overwork it. Divide into 4 equal portions and form into patties about 3/4 inch thick. Press a slight indent in the center of each with your thumb to keep them from puffing up.
- Cook the burgers. Heat a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat and add the oil or tallow. When the pan is hot, add the patties. Cook 5–6 minutes per side, until cooked through to an internal temperature of 165°F. Do not press down on the patties while cooking.
- Toast the buns. While the burgers rest, place buns cut-side down in the same skillet for 1–2 minutes until lightly golden.
- Assemble. Spread a generous spoonful of cilantro lime pesto on both sides of each bun. Add the burger patty and any toppings you like. Serve immediately.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 420 | Protein: 34g | Fat: 22g | Carbs: 28g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 580mg