By Fourth of July again. Fireworks. Elotes. The van with broken AC. Everything the same except the children are taller and I am older and Rosa is more dead than she was last year, which is not how deadness works — dead is dead, there are no degrees — but grief has degrees, and the degree to which Rosa is gone feels deeper this year, like a river that has cut a channel through rock, the same water but a deeper groove.
Isabella came home from Tucson on Monday. She walked off the bus and she was different — not visibly, not in height or weight or haircut, but in the way she held herself, the way her eyes looked at the world. She had spent six weeks holding fragile lives in her hands and the experience had settled into her bones like calcium, making her stronger in a way that is invisible but structural. She hugged me at the bus station and said, "I know what I want to do." She has always known. But now the knowing is seasoned with experience, and experienced knowing is a different thing from theoretical knowing, the way a cooked tortilla is a different thing from raw dough.
The fireworks were the same. Camila was less scared this year — she flinched but didn't cry, and she watched from my lap instead of burying her face, and the progress from burying to watching is the progress of a year, the growth of a girl who is learning that loud things are not always dangerous, that explosions can be beautiful, that the sky can break open and what falls out can be light.
I made watermelon agua fresca this week — blended watermelon with lime juice and a touch of sugar, strained and served over ice. The simplest summer drink. Rosa didn't make agua fresca because Rosa didn't have a blender. Rosa had hands. Hands don't make agua fresca — they make tortillas and empanadas and the kind of food that doesn't need electricity. I have a blender and I use it and I am not ashamed, though sometimes I wonder if Rosa would judge the blender, and I think she wouldn't, because Rosa judged laziness, not tools, and a blender is just a fast hand, and speed is not laziness if the intention is good.
Luis Jr. has saved eight hundred dollars. He showed me his bank statement the way he shows me everything — casually, as if it were a receipt and not a triumph. Eight hundred dollars at sixteen, earned at a sporting goods store and a bakery, saved with the discipline of a boy who is building something. He still won't tell me what he's saving for. I have stopped guessing. Whatever it is, it will be earned, and earned things are the only things that last.
The agua fresca was cold and sweet and gone before the fireworks even started, and standing there watching the kids — Camila on my lap, not hiding her face this time — I thought about the rest of the table, the things that sit next to the drink and hold the meal together. This salad is what I make when I want something that feels like the food Rosa grew up making, but faster, with a blender involved, dressed in green and bright like a July sky before it goes dark. It is not her food. It is mine. That is allowed.
Mexican Side Salad with Creamy Avocado-Cilantro Dressing
Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 15 minutes | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- For the Salad:
- 1 large head romaine lettuce, chopped
- 1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved
- 1 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
- 1 cup frozen corn, thawed (or fresh roasted corn cut from the cob)
- 1/2 cup red onion, finely diced
- 1/2 cup shredded purple cabbage
- 1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves, roughly chopped
- 1/2 cup cotija cheese, crumbled
- 1 lime, cut into wedges for serving
- For the Creamy Avocado-Cilantro Dressing:
- 1 ripe avocado, pitted and peeled
- 1/2 cup fresh cilantro (leaves and tender stems)
- 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (about 1 lime)
- 1 clove garlic
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 3 tablespoons water, plus more to thin
- 1/4 teaspoon cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Instructions
- Make the dressing. Combine the avocado, cilantro, lime juice, garlic, olive oil, water, cumin, salt, and pepper in a blender or food processor. Blend until completely smooth and creamy. Add additional water one tablespoon at a time until the dressing reaches a pourable consistency. Taste and adjust salt and lime as needed. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
- Prep the salad base. Chop the romaine into bite-sized pieces and place in a large salad bowl. Add the cherry tomatoes, black beans, corn, red onion, and shredded cabbage.
- Toss and dress. Drizzle the avocado-cilantro dressing over the salad. Toss gently to coat all the vegetables evenly. Start with about half the dressing and add more to your preference — leftover dressing keeps well in the refrigerator for up to two days.
- Finish and serve. Top the salad with crumbled cotija cheese and fresh cilantro leaves. Serve immediately with lime wedges on the side for an extra squeeze of brightness.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 210 | Protein: 6g | Fat: 13g | Carbs: 19g | Fiber: 6g | Sodium: 320mg