Merlot Filet Mignon -- The Tuesday Steak That Turns Ordinary Evenings Into Celebrations

The first week of September without Carrie, and the house adjusts with the practiced flexibility of a household that has been adjusting for four years. Robert and I eat dinner together at the antique dining table — two places, two plates, two people who have been married for twenty-five years and who are now, for the first time since 1999, eating dinner without children in the house. The without-children is both liberating and melancholy, and the two feelings coexist the way two spices coexist in a dish: distinct, complementary, producing together a flavor that neither could produce alone.

Carrie is teaching. She sent photographs: a classroom of Japanese tenth-graders looking at her with the particular combination of curiosity and skepticism that teenagers bring to everything new. She is teaching them English. They are teaching her patience. The exchange is the education, and the education is mutual.

Mama has been eating less — half portions, sometimes quarter portions, the food arriving and departing from her plate with the minimal transaction of a body that is shutting down its non-essential systems, the way a building shuts down its upper floors when the occupancy drops. The metaphor is unkind. But the metaphor is accurate. And the accuracy is what I write in the journal, because the journal is the truth, and the truth includes the unkind metaphors, because the truth is not always kind.

I received my first rejection from a publisher — a form letter, polite, unhelpful, the kind of letter that publishers send when they have not read the manuscript but have decided, based on the query, that the book is not for them. The rejection sat on my desk for two days before I filed it in the folder marked "Rejections," which I created with the particular optimism of a woman who expects to collect many rejections before she collects an acceptance, because the collecting is the process, and the process is the work.

I made Robert's steak — his favorite, the retirement dinner that has become the Tuesday dinner, the meal of a man who considers Tuesday a celebration of being alive, which is the correct way to consider Tuesday.

Robert has always believed that Tuesday deserves a proper dinner, and after a week of first rejections and quiet half-portions and the particular ache of a house that used to hold more people, I found myself agreeing with him completely. The Merlot filet mignon is his standing request—the meal that started as a retirement celebration and never stopped feeling like one—and there is something clarifying about cooking it: the sear, the wine, the reduction, the way a good steak demands your full attention and gives it back to you as something worth savoring. Two plates at the antique table, two people, one very good reason to sit down and eat slowly.

Merlot Filet Mignon

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes | Servings: 2

Ingredients

• 2 filet mignon steaks (6 oz each, about 1 1/2 inches thick)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2 cloves garlic, smashed
• 2 sprigs fresh thyme
• 3/4 cup Merlot or other dry red wine
• 1/2 cup beef broth
• 1 tablespoon cold unsalted butter (for finishing the sauce)
• 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves, for garnish

Instructions

1. Bring steaks to temperature. Remove the filets from the refrigerator 30 minutes before cooking and pat them thoroughly dry with paper towels. Season generously on all sides with salt and pepper.
2. Sear the filets. Heat olive oil in a heavy oven-safe skillet (cast iron preferred) over high heat until just smoking. Add the steaks and sear without moving for 3 to 4 minutes, until a deep brown crust forms. Flip and sear the other side for 2 to 3 minutes.
3. Baste with butter and aromatics. Reduce heat to medium-high. Add 1 tablespoon butter, the smashed garlic, and thyme sprigs to the pan. Tilt the pan and spoon the foaming butter over the steaks continuously for about 90 seconds.
4. Finish in oven (optional for thicker cuts). Transfer the pan to a 400°F (200°C) oven for 3 to 5 minutes for medium-rare (internal temperature 130°F), or until desired doneness is reached. Transfer steaks to a plate and tent loosely with foil to rest for 5 minutes.
5. Build the Merlot reduction. Return the skillet to medium-high heat. Discard the garlic and thyme. Pour in the Merlot and scrape up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the beef broth and cook, stirring occasionally, until the sauce is reduced by half, about 6 to 8 minutes.
6. Finish the sauce. Remove the pan from heat and swirl in the cold tablespoon of butter until the sauce is glossy and slightly thickened. Taste and adjust salt and pepper as needed.
7. Plate and serve. Spoon the Merlot reduction over the rested filets. Garnish with fresh thyme leaves. Serve immediately alongside roasted vegetables or a simple salad.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 480 | Protein: 38g | Fat: 28g | Carbs: 4g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 420mg