Mashed Red Potatoes

Consults this week. Dr. Kalb at Dana-Farber Tuesday afternoon. She walked us through the radiation plan — six weeks, five days a week, thirty sessions total, targeted to the resection cavity plus a margin. She explained the mask — a custom mesh form fitted to Sean's face that holds his head still during each treatment. They fitted it that afternoon. Sean lay on the table and they molded the warm mesh over his face and let it set for fifteen minutes. He said afterward it was claustrophobic but not unbearable. He said he had done worse things.

Dr. Pei, medical oncology, Thursday. She explained temozolomide. Oral chemo, daily, with radiation and then in cycles after. Expected side effects: fatigue, nausea, low blood counts. She was warm and thorough. She asked about Sean's work and said she believed he could continue teaching through most of the treatment with adjustments. She asked about our kids. She looked at me and said "you are the oncology nurse." I said "I am." She said "then you know some of what I am going to say. I will still say it all. You are both the patient and his family and the nurse. You need to hear it as all three." I said "thank you."

Sean shaved his head Saturday morning. He did not wait for the hair to fall out on its own. He sat on a stool in the kitchen with his shirt off and a towel around his shoulders and he handed me the clippers and said "all of it." I said "you sure." He said "yes. I want to get ahead of it. Liam will have time to see it." I shaved his head. The hair fell in a circle on the towel. Sean looked in a hand mirror when I was done. He looked at himself. He said "okay. That's me for a while." He did not look away. He did not flinch. I kissed his forehead. He kissed my hand.

Liam came downstairs. He saw Sean. He stopped at the doorway. He said "Daddy has a bald." Sean said "yes, I do, Buddy." Liam said "why." Sean said "the medicine I'm going to take is going to make my hair fall out, so I cut it ahead of time." Liam said "okay." He came over. He put his hand on Sean's head. He said "it's smooth." Sean said "yes." Liam said "can I rub it." Sean said "yes." Liam rubbed Sean's head for fifteen seconds. Then he said "can I have a snack." Sean said "yes." The moment ended. The moment became a fact. Liam will remember this day. He will remember rubbing his father's freshly-shaved head. I will make sure of it.

Nora saw Sean's head Saturday afternoon. She studied it. She said "Daddy." She put her hand on his head. She said "new hair." Sean said "no hair, Nora. For now." She said "hmm." She went back to her blocks.

I made meatloaf Sunday. The big meatloaf, my mother's version, with the brown-sugar glaze and the oats in the meat and the ketchup. Sean ate a whole slice and wanted another. The meatloaf is his favorite. I have been making it for him for eight years. I make it better now than I did in 2016. The years are in the sauce. The years are in his appetite for it. The years are what we have.

The meatloaf recipe is my mother’s and I’m not ready to share it yet — some things need to stay close for now. But what I can give you is what I put next to it on Sunday, what filled out the plate, what Sean asked for seconds of alongside that second slice: these mashed red potatoes, skin-on and buttery and just rough enough to feel real. They’re not fancy. They don’t need to be. When everything else feels like it’s moving too fast, you want something on the table that just sits there and holds.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

2 1/2 pounds red potatoes, scrubbed and quartered (skins left on)
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup whole milk or heavy cream, warmed
1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 cloves garlic, peeled (optional)
2 tablespoons fresh chives, thinly sliced (optional, for serving)

Instructions

Boil the potatoes. Place quartered red potatoes (and garlic cloves, if using) in a large pot. Cover with cold water by at least one inch and add a generous pinch of salt. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce to a steady simmer. Cook 18—20 minutes, until a fork slides through the largest piece without resistance.
Drain and dry. Drain the potatoes in a colander, then return them to the hot pot. Set the pot over low heat for 1—2 minutes, shaking gently, to let any excess moisture steam off. This keeps your mash from going watery.
Mash. Remove from heat. Add the butter pieces and let them begin to melt, then use a potato masher or large fork to mash to your preferred consistency — these are meant to be a little rustic, with some texture from the skins. Do not use a blender or food processor, which will make them gluey.
Add the creaminess. Stir in the sour cream and warm milk a little at a time until the potatoes are creamy and loose enough to hold a soft peak. Taste and adjust salt and pepper as needed.
Serve. Transfer to a serving bowl and top with fresh chives if using. Serve immediately alongside your main dish — these are best hot off the stove.

Nutrition (per serving)

Mashed Red Potatoes — The Side Dish That Belongs Next to Everything That Matters