August. The garden at peak. Five pounds of shiso this week, which is too much shiso, which is exactly enough shiso. Sunday farmers market. Tomatoes, shiso, kabocha when in season, mushrooms in fall. The shopping list is short and exact.
Miya, 10, can shape onigiri without falling apart. She uses wet hands. She knows the order without being told. I drank miso from Fumiko's chipped bowl. The chip fits my lip. The lip fits the chip. The bowl is the small daily ritual.
Grilled black cod with miso glaze. The skin crisp. The flesh flaking. Tomi's grill.
I sat at the kitchen window with my tea. The garden was the garden.
I read for an hour Sunday night. A book of essays by a Korean-American writer about food and grief. I underlined a paragraph that said exactly what I had been trying to say in the newsletter for months.
The newsletter went out Sunday morning. The opening line took an hour. The piece took five. The piece was what it needed to be.
Sunday farmers market in the rain. The vendors knew me. The Hood River apple stand had honeycrisps. I bought four pounds.
I texted Miya a photo of the shiso. She texted back a heart and a single word: home.
Coffee with a friend Saturday morning. We talked about books, about kids, about the way our forties became our fifties. The talking is the thing.
Miya's old room is now my office. The desk is by the window. The shiso outside. The newsletter in progress. The afternoons are quiet.
I made onigiri for tomorrow's lunch. Three triangles. Salted plum in the center. Wrapped in nori. The cling wrap. The drawer where I keep them. The system.
Therapy Tuesday. We talked about the wedding. We talked about Barbara. We talked about Fumiko. The hour passed. The work continues.
The cat was the cat. Mochi at fifteen sleeps most of the day. She still eats with enthusiasm. She still sits at the kitchen window watching the back garden.
Made dashi at five-thirty AM. Ten minutes in the kitchen alone with the kombu and the bonito flakes. The day's first prayer.
The rain in long sheets Tuesday afternoon. I made tea. I watched it from the porch. The cottonwoods on the next block were silver in the wet.
A reader sent me a handwritten card this week. Her grandmother had cooked Japanese food in 1970s Boise. She had felt alone in it. The newsletter, she wrote, made her feel less alone. I taped the card to the wall above my desk.
Miya is in elementary school. The Saturday Japanese school continues. She still complains. She is still going.
The neighbor's dog barked at nothing for twenty minutes Sunday afternoon. The neighbor apologized. I told him I had been writing through it and the white noise was helpful. He laughed.
Yoga Tuesday morning. The studio in Sellwood. Eight students. The class was the class.
Tomi watered the garden Saturday morning. The shiso was head-high. The shishito peppers were producing. The kabocha was running on the fence.
I wrote at the kitchen table from six to eight. The newsletter was forming. The opening sentence was the hard sentence — they always are. I rewrote it five times. The fifth time was the right time.
I cleaned the kitchen Sunday afternoon. Wiped the counters. Reorganized the drawer where the chopsticks live. Sharpened the knife. The reset was the reset.
A panic flicker Tuesday evening, brief, manageable. I breathed. I drank water. I went outside and walked around the block. The flicker passed. The body did its work.
The black cod on Tomi’s grill is his—his timing, his miso, his patience with the skin. What I make on my own, on the quieter evenings when the shiso is head-high and the newsletter has already gone out, is a lemon-glazed fillet: simpler, faster, still enough. Lemon does what the best pantry ingredients always do: it clarifies. After a week of rewrites and rain and the small, necessary work of grief, I wanted a plate that answered plainly—and these lemon recipes have been that answer all summer long.
15 Luscious Lemon Recipes
Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 10 min | Total Time: 20 min | Servings: 4
Ingredients
- 4 skin-on fish fillets (black cod, salmon, or halibut), about 6 oz each
- 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (about 1 large lemon)
- 2 teaspoons lemon zest
- 3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for the grill grates
- 2 cloves garlic, finely minced
- 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
- 1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves
- 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
- 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- 1 lemon, sliced into rounds, for serving
Instructions
- Make the lemon glaze. In a small bowl, whisk together lemon juice, lemon zest, olive oil, garlic, parsley, thyme, salt, and pepper until combined.
- Marinate the fish. Lay fillets skin-side down in a shallow dish. Spoon the lemon glaze over the top and sides of each fillet. Let rest at room temperature for 8—10 minutes—no longer, or the acid will begin to cook the flesh.
- Prepare the grill. Heat an outdoor grill or grill pan to medium-high (about 400°F). Brush grates generously with oil to prevent sticking.
- Grill skin-side down first. Place fillets skin-side down. Cook without moving for 4—5 minutes, until the skin is deeply crisp and releases cleanly from the grate.
- Flip and finish. Turn fillets carefully and cook 2—3 minutes more, until flesh is opaque and flakes easily at the thickest point. Thicker fillets like black cod may need a minute longer—watch the edges.
- Rest and serve. Transfer to a warm plate and let rest 2 minutes. Serve with lemon rounds and any remaining herbs scattered over the top.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 275 | Protein: 33g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 2g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 310mg