Loaded Cheesy Chicken Potato Chowder

I drove to Bessemer on Saturday to see Daddy. The drive is forty minutes and I make it every week, and every week I pack a bag of food — sweet potato pie because it is his favorite, fried chicken because it is everyone's favorite, and cornbread because cornbread is not negotiable. The food is my ticket into a room where my father lives but does not always know he has visitors, where the man who worked forty years at U.S. Steel sits in a wheelchair and looks at the wall and sometimes at me and sometimes through me, and I do not know which is worse.

Today he ate the sweet potato pie first. He always reaches for the pie, even when he does not know who brought it, even when the hands that reach are not the hands I remember — Daddy's hands used to be enormous, steel-worker hands, hands that could bend rebar and hold a Bible with equal authority. Now they are thin and uncertain and they tremble when they hold a fork, but they found the pie. They always find the pie. The body remembers what the mind forgets, and Daddy's body remembers sweet potato pie the way my body remembers how to stir a pot — below thought, below memory, in the place where love is stored.

He did not know me today. He looked at me while he ate and his eyes were pleasant and blank, the way you look at a nice stranger, and I smiled and said, Hey Daddy, it's Loretta, and he said, That's nice, and kept eating. That's nice. Two words that are the loneliest sentence I know, because they are polite and empty and they come from a man who used to say my name like it was a song — Loretta Mae, get in this house — and now says That's nice the way you say it to a waitress bringing water.

I drove home and I did not cry because I have made a rule about crying on I-59 and the rule is: only once per visit, and I used that once last month. So instead I turned on the radio and sang along to whatever was playing, which was a Shirley Caesar song, which was exactly right because Shirley Caesar understands what it means to praise God with a broken heart, and I sang with Shirley all the way home and when I pulled into the driveway my voice was hoarse and my heart was held together with hymns and duct tape and the memory of sweet potato pie being eaten by hands that used to hold me.

I made chicken and dumplings for dinner. Comfort food. The kind of food you make when you need the kitchen to hold you, when the pot needs to be warm because the world is not. The dumplings were fluffy and the broth was rich and I ate two bowls and did not think about Daddy saying That's nice. I thought about Daddy saying Loretta Mae. I chose the memory. The kitchen let me.

After I got home from Bessemer and sang myself hoarse with Shirley Caesar, I needed the kind of meal that does the work your heart can’t. Chicken and dumplings was what I made that night, but this loaded cheesy chicken potato chowder is its close cousin — thick, rich broth, tender chicken, and enough warmth to fill the hollow places. It’s the bowl I reach for when I need to sit at my own table and remember that comfort is something I can still make with my own two hands.

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 50 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts
6 slices thick-cut bacon, chopped
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 medium yellow onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 stalks celery, diced
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups chicken broth
2 cups whole milk
1 1/2 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch cubes
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Salt and black pepper to taste
Chopped chives for garnish

Instructions

Cook the bacon. In a large Dutch oven or heavy-bottomed pot over medium heat, cook the chopped bacon until crispy, about 6–8 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside on a paper towel-lined plate. Leave the drippings in the pot.
Brown the chicken. Season the chicken breasts with salt, pepper, and smoked paprika. Add butter to the bacon drippings and sear the chicken on both sides until golden, about 3–4 minutes per side. Remove and set aside.
Build the base. Add the onion, celery, and garlic to the pot and cook until softened, about 4 minutes. Sprinkle in the flour and stir constantly for 1 minute to cook out the raw taste.
Add the liquids. Slowly pour in the chicken broth and milk, stirring continuously to prevent lumps. Add the garlic powder and cubed potatoes. Nestle the seared chicken breasts back into the pot.
Simmer. Bring to a gentle boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Cover and simmer for 18–20 minutes, until the potatoes are fork-tender and the chicken is cooked through (internal temperature of 165°F).
Shred and finish. Remove the chicken, shred it with two forks, and return it to the pot. Reduce heat to low. Stir in the shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream until melted and smooth. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and pepper.
Serve. Ladle into bowls and top with the reserved crispy bacon and chopped chives. Serve with crusty bread or cornbread.

Nutrition (per serving)

Loaded Cheesy Chicken Potato Chowder — The Kind of Warm You Need When the World Is Not