The lake was doing what the lake does this week: changing color hourly, sometimes by the minute, the way grief does. Iron gray at dawn. Steel blue by ten. Almost green by noon when the sun broke through. Pewter again by four. Black by six. I walked the lakefront with Sven on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Saturday, and the lake was different every time, and the lake was the same every time, and both things are how it works.
Jakob (Anna's middle, recently graduated) has a job. He hates the job. He is figuring it out. He called me Tuesday for advice. I told him: that is what your twenties are for. The first job is supposed to be unsatisfying. The first job teaches you what you do not want. He said, "Grandma, that is not super helpful." I said, "It is the truth. Helpful is not always the same as comforting." He laughed. He hung up. He kept the job for now. He will figure it out.
Lena (Anna's youngest, college freshman) is in college now. She calls me sometimes. The calls are about boys, mostly. I listen. I do not give advice. I am eighteen-year-old's grandmother. My credibility on boys is suspect at best. I tell her the kinds of things a grandmother is supposed to tell her: be careful, be brave, trust your gut, do not date the one who reminds you of someone you do not like. She thinks I am wise. I am, in fact, just old. The two get confused sometimes in the right direction.
I cooked Hot cross buns this week. Yeasted sweet buns with currants and citron, scored with a cross, glazed after baking. Easter morning. The smell wakes the house up.
Thursday at Damiano. I brought a tray of pepparkakor — the second batch from the Christmas freezer, brought back to crispness in a low oven. They were eaten in fifteen minutes. The cookies are not the soup. The cookies are the extra. The extra is the message: you are worth the effort of cookies. Most of the world does not give the people who come to Damiano the message that they are worth the effort of cookies. The cookies are doing political work.
I dreamed about Paul last night. The dream was specific: we were at the lake, in the canoe, fishing for trout. He was teaching me the right way to cast (he was always trying to teach me; I never quite got the rhythm; I caught fish anyway, by accident, with embarrassing regularity). In the dream he was patient and present and entirely himself. I woke up at 4 AM. I made coffee. I sat in the kitchen. The dream was a visit. I have learned to receive the visits without reaching for them. They come when they come.
It is enough. It has to be. And on a morning like this, with the lake doing what the lake does and the dog at my feet and the bread on the counter and the kitchen warm enough to live in, it is.
The seasons in Duluth are unsubtle. The winter is long and white and dark. The spring is reluctant. The summer is glorious and brief. The fall is brilliant and quick. The unsubtlety is a kind of honesty. The seasons do not pretend to be other than what they are. They give you what they give you. They take what they take. The kitchen, in response, does what it does — soup in winter, salads in summer, pies in fall, bread always.
It is enough.
The hot cross buns went onto the counter Thursday morning — yeasted and glazed and doing exactly what they were supposed to do — and by the time the tray came out of the oven I was already thinking about Easter in the fuller sense: not just the sweet, but the savory, the substantial, the thing you cut into at the table when the whole house smells like effort and intention. Pizza Rustica is that dish. It is the Italian Easter tradition I learned sideways, from a neighbor decades ago, and it has stayed in my rotation because it is honest food — dense, direct, and unapologetically itself, the way the seasons here are. It is what you bring to a table when you want people to know they are worth the trouble.
Italian Easter Pie (Pizza Rustica)
Prep Time: 40 min | Cook Time: 55 min | Total Time: 1 hr 35 min | Servings: 10
Ingredients
- 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
- 2 large eggs, beaten (for dough)
- 3–4 tablespoons ice water, as needed
- 3 cups whole-milk ricotta cheese
- 4 large eggs (for filling)
- 1/2 cup grated Pecorino Romano or Parmesan
- 1/2 pound fresh mozzarella, diced
- 1/4 pound sopressata or salami, diced
- 1/4 pound pepperoni, diced
- 1/4 pound prosciutto or ham, roughly chopped
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
- 1 egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water (egg wash)
Instructions
- Make the dough. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. Cut in the cold butter using a pastry cutter or your fingers until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add the beaten eggs and mix. Add ice water one tablespoon at a time until the dough just comes together. Divide into two disks (one slightly larger), wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
- Preheat the oven. Heat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Lightly grease a 9-inch springform pan or deep-dish pie pan.
- Mix the filling. In a large bowl, combine the ricotta, 4 eggs, Pecorino Romano, and black pepper. Stir until smooth. Fold in the mozzarella, sopressata, pepperoni, and prosciutto. Add red pepper flakes if using. Taste and adjust seasoning.
- Roll and line the pan. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the larger dough disk to about 1/8-inch thickness. Carefully drape it into the prepared pan, pressing it gently into the sides and allowing a 1-inch overhang at the rim.
- Fill the pie. Pour the ricotta and meat filling into the crust and spread it evenly with a spatula.
- Add the top crust. Roll out the second dough disk and lay it over the filling. Trim the edges and crimp or fold to seal the top and bottom crusts together. Cut 2–3 small slits in the top crust to vent steam. Brush the entire surface with the egg wash.
- Bake. Place the pan on a rimmed baking sheet and bake for 50–55 minutes, until the crust is deep golden and a skewer inserted through a vent slot comes out clean. If the crust browns too quickly, tent loosely with foil for the final 15 minutes.
- Rest before slicing. Allow the pie to cool in the pan for at least 20 minutes before removing the springform ring and slicing. It can be served warm or at room temperature — it is excellent either way, and arguably better the next morning.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 510 | Protein: 24g | Fat: 31g | Carbs: 32g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 820mg
About the cook who shared this
Linda Johansson
Week 316 of Linda’s 30-year story
· Duluth, Minnesota
Linda is a sixty-three-year-old retired nurse from Duluth, Minnesota, living alone in the house where she raised her children and said goodbye to her husband. She lost Paul to ALS in 2020 after two years of watching the kindest man she'd ever known lose everything but his dignity. She cooks Scandinavian comfort food and Minnesota hotdish and the pot roast Paul loved, and she sets two places at the table out of habit because it makes her feel less alone. Every recipe she writes is a person she's loved.