February. The month Earl died. The month the carnations came. The month the catfish burned and the lemon meringue pie sat on the counter and nobody ate it. I am walking into February the way you walk into a room where something terrible happened — slowly, with your hands out, feeling for the walls.
The anniversary is in two weeks. February 14. Valentine's Day. One year. I have been dreading it the way you dread a storm you can see on the horizon — you know it's coming, you know it will pass, and you know it will rearrange things.
Denise asked me what I wanted to do. I said, "Cook." She said, "Cook what?" I said, "His dinner. The Valentine's dinner. Fried catfish and lemon meringue pie. The dinner I was making when he died." Denise looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Maybe I have. But I need to finish that dinner, baby. I need to cook it and eat it and close the circle. The dinner that was interrupted needs to be completed. It has been sitting unfinished in my heart for eleven months, and I will not carry it into year two.
Denise said, "Then I'll be there." Kayla said, "I'll be there." Patricia called and said she's driving up from Jacksonville. Earl Jr. said he's coming from Atlanta. The whole family, gathering on February 14, to eat the dinner that Earl never got to eat. That's either beautiful or insane. Maybe both. The best things usually are.
Made corn chowder tonight. Thick, warm, the kind of soup that fills the empty places. I ate it and I thought about February 14 and I was afraid. Not of the grief. I know grief. I'm afraid of the cooking. I'm afraid of standing at the stove and frying catfish and hearing the TV go silent all over again. I'm afraid of the memory. But I will do it. I will stand at that stove and I will cook his dinner and I will survive it. Because that's what I do. I survive and I cook and I feed people. In that order.
Now go on and feed somebody.
This is the chowder I made that night — the night I told my family we were gathering on February 14 to finish Earl’s dinner. I needed something warm and thick and uncomplicated, something that would fill the kitchen with good smells while my mind worked through the hard thing ahead. The Instant Pot made it fast, which was good, because I didn’t have patience that evening. I just needed to be fed. I needed the kind of soup that holds you. This one does exactly that.
Instant Pot Corn Chowder
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 4 cups frozen or fresh corn kernels (about 4 ears if fresh)
- 3 cups chicken broth or vegetable broth
- 2 medium russet potatoes, peeled and diced into 1/2-inch cubes
- 1 small yellow onion, diced
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 stalks celery, chopped
- 1 cup heavy cream
- 4 strips bacon, chopped (optional but recommended)
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 1 teaspoon salt, plus more to taste
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
- 2 tablespoons cornstarch + 2 tablespoons cold water (for slurry)
- Shredded cheddar cheese and sliced green onions, for serving
Instructions
- Cook the bacon. Set the Instant Pot to Sauté mode. Add the chopped bacon and cook, stirring occasionally, until crispy, about 4–5 minutes. Remove bacon with a slotted spoon and set aside. Leave about 1 tablespoon of drippings in the pot.
- Sauté the aromatics. Add butter to the pot. Once melted, add the onion and celery. Cook, stirring, for 2–3 minutes until softened. Add the garlic and cook 30 seconds more until fragrant.
- Add the main ingredients. Pour in the broth and scrape up any browned bits from the bottom of the pot. Add the diced potatoes, corn, salt, pepper, smoked paprika, and cayenne if using. Stir to combine.
- Pressure cook. Secure the lid and set the valve to Sealing. Cook on High Pressure for 8 minutes. When the cook time is up, carefully do a quick release.
- Thicken the chowder. Set the pot back to Sauté mode. Whisk together the cornstarch and cold water to make a slurry. Stir the slurry into the soup and let it simmer for 2–3 minutes, stirring frequently, until the chowder thickens to your liking.
- Finish with cream. Reduce the heat (or turn off Sauté mode and use the residual heat). Stir in the heavy cream. Taste and adjust salt and pepper as needed.
- Serve. Ladle into bowls and top with the reserved crispy bacon, shredded cheddar cheese, and sliced green onions. Serve warm with crusty bread or oyster crackers.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 340 | Protein: 9g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 38g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 620mg