Incredible Chocolate Pudding {Dairy and Egg Free}

Passover 2021. Not a full table — not yet, not thirty people — but more than two. David and Jennifer brought all four children. Rebecca came from Manhattan, alone (Thomas is gone, though she hasn't told me the details, and the absence of Thomas at the table is a story I will learn later). Six adults, four children, and the Haggadah, and the table set with Sylvia's blue and white dishes, and the brisket braising since morning, and the matzo ball soup waiting on the stove, and my heart so full it hurt.

The seder was beautiful. David led. Rebecca read. Ethan, seven, read the Four Questions in person, at the table, not through a screen, and his voice was clear and strong and present in the room in a way that screens can never be, because presence is not a signal, it is a body, it is a voice that fills a room, it is the vibration of a child's vocal cords hitting the walls of a dining room where his grandmother has been hosting seders for forty years. The vibration was everything.

Marvin sat at the table. He did not follow the Haggadah. He did not say the prayers. But he sat at the table and he ate the brisket and he smiled when the children were noisy and he was there. The there-ness is the victory. His body at the table, his hands on the tablecloth, his presence in the room. The disease has taken his mind but it has not taken his body from this chair, and as long as his body is in this chair, the seder is complete.

Sophie, five, ate her first whole piece of gefilte fish and declared it "weird but good," which is the most accurate description of gefilte fish I have ever heard. Noah, almost two, ate matzo with both hands and got crumbs in his hair. Hannah, three months old, slept through the entire seder, which remains, in my view, an act of extraordinary good judgment.

After the seder, I stood in the kitchen washing dishes and Rebecca came in and stood beside me and we washed and dried together, the way we did before the pandemic, before the diagnosis, before all of it, and she said, "Thomas and I are done." I said, "I know." She said, "How did you know?" I said, "Because he's not here." She said nothing. I dried a plate. She washed a bowl. The silence held what the words could not. Then she said, "The seder was beautiful, Mama." I said, "It always is." She said, "Yes. It always is."

After a brisket seder — after all that meat and matzo and the fullness of it, emotional and otherwise — dessert has to be pareve, no dairy, no exceptions if you’re keeping the table kosher. For years I fussed over what to serve, and then I found this chocolate pudding: dairy free, egg free, and so silky and rich that nobody has ever once asked what’s missing from it. It’s been on the seder table ever since, including that 2021 night when Marvin smiled at the children and Rebecca and I stood at the sink and said everything without saying anything at all — a little sweetness at the end of a meal that held forty years of memory in it.

Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 15 minutes plus 2 hours chilling | Servings: 6

Ingredients

1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
2 1/2 cups unsweetened almond milk (or oat milk)
2 ounces dairy-free dark chocolate, finely chopped
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 tablespoon coconut oil or dairy-free margarine

Instructions

Whisk dry ingredients. In a medium saucepan, whisk together the sugar, cocoa powder, cornstarch, and salt until evenly combined and no lumps remain.
Add milk. Gradually whisk in the almond milk, starting with a small amount to form a smooth paste, then adding the rest in a steady stream.
Cook the pudding. Place the saucepan over medium heat and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture thickens and begins to bubble, about 8—10 minutes. Once it bubbles, continue whisking for 1 full minute.
Add chocolate and vanilla. Remove from heat. Add the chopped dark chocolate, coconut oil, and vanilla extract. Whisk until the chocolate is fully melted and the pudding is glossy and smooth.
Portion and chill. Pour into six small cups or ramekins. Press a piece of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of each pudding to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or until set.
Serve. Serve chilled, topped with a dusting of cocoa powder or fresh berries if desired.

Nutrition (per serving)

Incredible Chocolate Pudding {Dairy and Egg Free} — The Dessert That Belongs at Every Seder Table