Homemade Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts

Saturday morning Liam came downstairs at 7 AM. He climbed up on the kitchen stool. He looked at me. He said "Mommy. Can we make Daddy's pancakes." He said it clearly. He said it like he had been working up to it.

I had not made Sean's pancakes since he died. Three and a half months. The recipe had been his alone. Sean had made them every Saturday of Liam's life, and Nora's life, and most of our marriage before that. It was his thing. He made them. I drank coffee. We ate.

I stood at the counter. I had not prepared for this morning. I had the mixing bowl in my hand. I started to cry. Not silently — I sobbed. Liam was on the stool. He looked at me. He said "Mommy." I said "I am okay, Buddy. I am just sad." He said "I know." He said "we can make them." He said "I will help."

I pulled down the buttermilk from the fridge. I cracked the eggs. I whisked. I measured the flour, the sugar, the baking powder, the soda, the salt. I combined the wet and the dry. I let the batter rest. I got the blueberries out of the freezer. I got out the griddle. I heated it. I cried through the whole preparation.

I poured the first pancake. It was too thick. The batter had not rested long enough. I flipped it. It was still undercooked in the middle. I burned it on the second side. I put it on a plate. I gave it to Liam. He took a bite. He said "Mommy this is good." He was lying. He was five, and he was lying, and it was the kindest thing anyone had ever done for me. I said "thank you, Buddy." He ate it. Every bite.

The second pancake was slightly better. The third was close. The fourth was almost right. By the eighth pancake they were approximately what Sean used to make. I burned the first one on every griddle-heat from here on, deliberately. Sean always burned the first one. That is the pancake ritual. I will keep that.

Nora came downstairs at 7:45. She ate two pancakes with syrup. She said "these are good pancakes, Mommy." I said "thank you, Nora." She said "Daddy makes pancakes." I said "Daddy did make pancakes. He taught me. Now I make them too." She said "oh." She ate her pancake. She accepted the answer. Liam looked at me. We did not speak. We ate.

I will make them next Saturday. And the Saturday after. I will make them every Saturday from now on. Sean made me promise to keep cooking. I am going to keep the promise, forever, one Saturday at a time.

On the Saturdays when the pancake griddle feels like too much weight to carry alone, Liam and Nora and I make these instead — and unlike Sean’s pancakes, which I am still learning, these are something I can hand off to small hands without burning anything critical. Liam measures the jam. Nora does the sprinkles. The kitchen still feels full. That is the whole point of a Saturday morning, I think: not the specific food, but the standing together and making something, one weekend at a time.

Prep Time: 35 min | Cook Time: 22 min | Total Time: 57 min (plus 30 min chilling) | Servings: 8 pop-tarts

Ingredients

For the pastry dough:
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 teaspoon fine salt
1 cup (2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
1/4 to 1/3 cup ice water, as needed
1 large egg, beaten (for egg wash)
For the filling:
3/4 cup strawberry jam or preserves
1 tablespoon cornstarch
For the glaze:
1 1/4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
2 to 3 tablespoons whole milk
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Pinch of fine salt
Rainbow sprinkles, for topping (optional)

Instructions

Make the dough. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, and salt. Add the cold butter cubes and use your fingertips or a pastry cutter to work the butter into the flour until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs with some pea-sized pieces remaining. Drizzle in ice water one tablespoon at a time, stirring with a fork, until the dough just comes together. Divide in half, flatten each half into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
Prepare the filling. In a small bowl, stir together the strawberry jam and cornstarch until smooth. Set aside. The cornstarch helps prevent the filling from bubbling out during baking.
Preheat the oven. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
Roll and cut the dough. On a lightly floured surface, roll one disk of dough out to roughly a 9x12-inch rectangle, about 1/8-inch thick. Trim the edges to straighten them, then cut into eight 3x4-inch rectangles. Repeat with the second disk of dough. You should have 16 rectangles total — 8 for bottoms and 8 for tops.
Fill the pop-tarts. Place 8 rectangles on the prepared baking sheets. Brush the edges of each with beaten egg wash. Spoon about 1 1/2 tablespoons of strawberry filling into the center of each, leaving a 1/2-inch border all around. Do not overfill. Lay a second rectangle on top of each, pressing the edges firmly with your fingertips to seal, then crimp all the way around with a fork. Use a toothpick or skewer to poke 3 or 4 small holes in the top of each to allow steam to escape.
Egg wash and bake. Brush the tops of each assembled pop-tart lightly with egg wash. Bake for 20 to 22 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through, until the pastry is golden and the edges are set. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely before glazing — at least 20 minutes.
Make the glaze. Whisk together the powdered sugar, milk, vanilla extract, and pinch of salt in a small bowl until smooth and pourable. Adjust consistency with additional milk if needed — it should drizzle slowly off a spoon.
Glaze and decorate. Spoon or spread glaze over each cooled pop-tart, letting it drip slightly over the edges. Top immediately with sprinkles if using. Let the glaze set for 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

Nutrition (per serving)

Homemade Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts — A Saturday Morning We Made Our Own