Herbed Tuna Salad -- The Sandwich I Ate While Holding My Breath

Five weeks to launch. The SoDo kitchen space is coming together. I took possession December 5 and spent this week outfitting it — commercial-grade mixers, three onggi shelves (a detail I insisted on because I am going to ferment some product in-house), packing stations, pallet storage, the printer for the shipping labels. Mina and Grace came by Thursday for a walkthrough. Grace said, "This is a real kitchen." I said, "It is." She said, "You did this." I said, "We are going to do this." She patted my arm.

Karen's progression has, in the last month, become more visibly steady. She is still functional but the tremors are more present all day, not just when she's tired. She has a cane for short distances now, in addition to the walker. She does not like the cane. She uses it anyway because David told her Rosa would quit if Karen did not use it, which is a lie David made up on the spot that I found funny. Whatever works.

I took Karen out to lunch alone on Saturday. Just the two of us. A diner in Redmond. She ate a tuna melt slowly. She said, "Stephanie. I want to talk to you about something." I said, "Okay." She said, "I want you to have my wedding ring when the time comes. Before the time comes, actually. I want you to have it now." She took off her wedding ring and put it in my palm. She said, "You wear your own ring. You can wear mine as a second band, or on a chain, or keep it in a box. I don't care. I want you to have it while I am still here to see you have it." I could not speak. I closed my hand around the ring. She said, "Don't cry at lunch. Eat your sandwich." I ate my sandwich. I wore her ring on a chain around my neck that evening. James noticed. He said, "Is that Karen's?" I said, "Yes." He said, "I'll be quiet." He was quiet. We sat on the couch and ate leftover pizza and did not speak for an hour. The ring was warm against my sternum.

Jisoo wrote about Christmas in Busan. She will go to midnight mass. She will cook a small Christmas Day meal with Jun-ho and Eunji and Min-gyu. Jihoon and Bora will not make it down this year — Jihoon's work. Jisoo will send me a package. She sent it out this week. I will open it around Christmas. I shipped her gift box earlier — kimchi I made from her recipe (a nod back to her), a cookbook from a Seattle chef I admire, a scarf for Jun-ho, a pair of wool socks for Eunji, a jar of American maple syrup for Jihoon because he had asked.

The recipe this week is tteokbokki, the spicy rice cakes, which I am refining for a future Banchan Labs winter box. My version: 2 tablespoons gochujang, 2 tablespoons gochugaru, 2 tablespoons sugar, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, 2 cups anchovy stock, 1 pound rice cakes (soaked), 1 cup fish cake cut into triangles, 2 scallions cut into two-inch pieces. Simmer ten minutes. The rice cakes will thicken the sauce. Sticky. Sweet. Hot. The dish Jisoo buys from a cart on cold nights in Busan.

Karen ordered a tuna melt at that diner in Redmond, and she ate it slowly, and then she gave me her wedding ring. I have been thinking about that meal ever since — not because tuna melts are remarkable, but because ordinary food has a way of marking extraordinary moments. I made this herbed tuna salad the following week, partly to have something quiet and familiar to do with my hands, and partly because I wanted to be back at that table for a little while. It is simple. It is the kind of thing you make when you need to feel settled.

Herbed Tuna Salad

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 0 min | Total Time: 10 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 2 cans (5 oz each) albacore tuna in water, drained well
• 1/3 cup mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
• 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon fresh dill, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon fresh chives, thinly sliced
• 2 stalks celery, finely diced
• 2 tablespoons red onion, finely diced
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, or to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Instructions

1. Drain and flake the tuna. Open both cans and press out as much liquid as possible. Turn the tuna into a medium mixing bowl and use a fork to break it into even flakes. Do not over-mash — you want some texture.
2. Prepare the vegetables and herbs. Finely dice the celery and red onion. Chop the parsley and dill. Slice the chives. Having everything small and uniform means a cleaner bite throughout.
3. Mix the dressing. Add the mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, and lemon juice to the bowl with the tuna. Stir gently to combine, then fold in the celery, red onion, parsley, dill, and chives.
4. Season and taste. Add salt and pepper. Taste and adjust — a little more lemon if it needs brightness, a pinch more salt if it feels flat. The herbs should be present but not overpowering.
5. Rest before serving. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 15 minutes before serving. This gives the flavors time to come together. Serve on toasted bread, crackers, or butter lettuce leaves.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 210 | Protein: 22g | Fat: 12g | Carbs: 3g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 390mg