By So I met a girl.
I'm not the kind of guy who leads with stuff like that. I'm the kind of guy who buries the lede under six paragraphs about beer and weather. But this one — I don't know. This one hit different.
Brewers game. Saturday afternoon. I'm in my seat, which is not a great seat but it's a seat, and there's a group of women one row ahead. One of them is wearing a Yelich jersey and eating nachos. With a fork. I want you to understand — she was eating nachos with a fork. At a baseball game. In Wisconsin. This is either the most civilized or the most insane thing I've ever seen a person do, and I couldn't let it go.
"Nobody eats nachos with a fork," I said.
She turned around. Red hair. Freckles. Eyes that looked like they were deciding whether to laugh at me or tell me to go to hell. "Nobody asked you," she said.
And that was it. That was the whole beginning of everything.
Her name is Megan. Megan O'Brien. She's a fourth-grade teacher in Wauwatosa. She's twenty-five. She's Irish-Catholic, which in Milwaukee means her family goes to a different church than mine but drinks at the same bars. She was there with her roommate and two friends from work. She was completely, thoroughly, absolutely unimpressed by me, which — and I cannot stress this enough — only made me try harder.
I spent the next four innings finding excuses to talk to her. I asked about the game. I asked about teaching. I asked about the fork. She answered in short sentences that were somehow both dismissive and interesting. When the Brewers hit a home run in the sixth, we both stood up and she turned to me and smiled for the first time and I thought, oh no. Oh no. This is going to be a thing.
I gave her my number on a napkin. She looked at it and said, "Is this how you give girls your number? On a napkin?" I said, "I'm a simple man." She laughed. She texted me that night. Just "This is the nacho girl." I have not stopped smiling since.
I made myself a celebratory grilled cheese when I got home because I didn't have the presence of mind to cook anything real. Sourdough bread, sharp cheddar, a thin layer of Dijon mustard. Eaten at midnight, standing at the stove, grinning like an idiot. Best grilled cheese of my life. Not because of the cheese.
Look, I know I said it was a grilled cheese — and it was, sort of — but after Megan texted me that night, I went back to the kitchen and did it right. I pulled out some leftover ham, soft rolls, a little butter, and just enough mustard to feel like I knew what I was doing. These ham buns are my actual celebratory sandwich: warm, simple, a little melty, and exactly the kind of thing you make when you’re too happy to think straight but too hungry to just stand there grinning. If you ever find yourself texting “This is the nacho girl” at midnight, this is what you make.
Ham Buns
Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 25 min | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 8 soft dinner rolls or slider buns, split
- 1 lb deli ham, thinly sliced
- 8 slices Swiss cheese
- 4 tablespoons butter, melted
- 1 tablespoon yellow mustard
- 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 1 teaspoon poppy seeds (optional)
Instructions
- Preheat. Heat oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.
- Assemble. Place the bottom halves of the rolls in the prepared dish. Layer ham evenly over each roll, then top with a slice of Swiss cheese. Place the tops of the rolls back on.
- Make the butter sauce. In a small bowl, whisk together the melted butter, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and onion powder until combined.
- Coat. Brush the butter mixture generously over the tops of the assembled rolls. Sprinkle with poppy seeds if using.
- Bake. Cover the dish with foil and bake for 12 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for an additional 3–5 minutes, until the tops are golden and the cheese is fully melted.
- Serve. Let rest for 2 minutes, then serve warm — ideally while standing at the counter, grinning at your phone.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 310 | Protein: 18g | Fat: 16g | Carbs: 24g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 720mg