Grape-Nuts Bread — The Crusty Bread on the Side

November. It got dark fast. Sunset at 4:30. The kids notice. Liam asked at 5 if it was bedtime because it felt like bedtime. I said no, it's 5.

Flu shot drive at the clinic all week. We vaccinated 180 patients in five days. I gave 62 of them myself. My right hand was sore by Thursday. Shanice was a machine. Dr. Rashid ordered pizza Friday for the team. A small celebration.

Ma came to the clinic Wednesday for her flu shot. She sat in my chair. I gave her the shot. She said don't hurt me Katie. I said Ma you did not give me birth painlessly. She said fair. She took the lollipop I offered (yes I do give adult patients lollipops, Dr. Rashid's policy).

Group Tuesday. The brand-new widow came in brighter. She had made the ham-and-scallion eggs. She said I cried into them and then I ate them and then I cried a little more, and then I thought about him, and then I made them again on Friday and I did not cry. Bernadette said, that is exactly the thing. The rest of us said yes.

I thought about Sean's Saturday pancakes in that moment. How I have been making them without him for 66 Saturdays now, counting this one. How some Saturdays I cry and some I do not and both are fine.

Saturday pancakes. Burned the first one. Cold morning, 38 degrees when we started. I made the kids wear sweatshirts in the kitchen. Nora said the pancakes are warm dragons. I said yes.

Sunday dinner at Southie. Ma made navy bean soup with a ham hock. Crusty bread on the side. Dad ate two bowls. Nora declined. Liam negotiated a bowl if he could dip bread in it. I agreed.

Meghan called at 11. She asked how I was. I said I am okay. She said really. I said really. She said yes I believe you, goodnight.

Food of the week: Ma's navy bean soup. Dried navy beans soaked overnight, ham hock, onion, celery, carrot, thyme, a bay leaf, three hours simmer.

I keep thinking about that bread. Ma’s navy bean soup was the thing, yes — three hours of simmer, the whole apartment smelling like thyme and ham — but the bread is what Liam kept reaching for, dipping it in, negotiating a second piece. There’s a version of that crusty, dense loaf I’ve been meaning to make at home, and this Grape-Nuts bread comes closest: sturdy enough to hold up to a bowl of something heavy, honest enough that it doesn’t need anything but butter. Some Sundays that’s exactly what you need on the side.

Grape-Nuts Bread

Prep Time: 20 min + 1 hr rise | Cook Time: 35 min | Total Time: 1 hr 55 min | Servings: 12 slices

Ingredients

• 1 package (2 1/4 tsp) active dry yeast
• 1 1/2 cups warm water (110°F), divided
• 1 tbsp honey
• 3/4 cup Grape-Nuts cereal
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp vegetable oil
• 2 1/2 — 3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for kneading
• 1 tbsp unsalted butter, softened (for greasing)

Instructions

1. Soak the cereal. Combine Grape-Nuts cereal with 1/2 cup of the warm water in a small bowl. Let stand 10 minutes until softened.
2. Proof the yeast. In a large bowl, stir yeast and honey into the remaining 1 cup warm water. Let sit 5—8 minutes until foamy.
3. Mix the dough. Add the soaked Grape-Nuts, salt, and oil to the yeast mixture. Stir to combine. Add flour 1/2 cup at a time, mixing until a shaggy dough forms.
4. Knead. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead 8—10 minutes until smooth and elastic, adding flour as needed to prevent sticking. The dough will be slightly dense from the cereal.
5. First rise. Grease a large bowl with butter, place dough inside, and turn to coat. Cover with a clean towel and let rise in a warm spot until doubled, about 1 hour.
6. Shape and second rise. Punch dough down, shape into a loaf, and place in a greased 9x5-inch loaf pan. Cover and let rest 20 minutes.
7. Bake. Preheat oven to 375°F. Bake 30—35 minutes until the top is deep golden brown and the loaf sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom. Cool on a wire rack at least 15 minutes before slicing.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 175 | Protein: 5g | Fat: 2g | Carbs: 34g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 210mg