By October. My birthday has come and gone and fall is fully here and I have been cooking the seasonal things with the pleasure of someone who has been waiting for them: apple cake, butternut squash soup, the first batch of chili of the year. Tyler has a kitchen now, three blocks away, and I have been cooking at both places this week in a way that feels natural and easy rather than logistically complicated.
I want to write about Crystal for a moment because I have been thinking about her this week in the specific way I think about things when they are changing. We have been in contact since March. Eight months of careful texts and three coffee shop meetings and one meeting where she met Tyler. In those eight months she has asked about my life more than she has talked about hers, which I notice. She wants to know me. I am not sure I know how to be known by her yet. But I am not refusing it.
She texted me this week to say she has been promoted at the shelter to a full-time peer counselor position. I texted back: that is really good news. She said: I have been working toward this for two years. She said: I wanted to tell you. I said: I am glad you did. That exchange, four texts long, felt like something that belongs to a specific category of relationship: the kind that is still being established but has decided to keep going.
I made a chili on Saturday, my best version of it now after years of refinement: chuck, dried chilis reconstituted in hot water, cumin and oregano and a touch of cinnamon. Tyler ate two bowls and said it was the best chili he had ever had. I said thank you. He said he was not being polite. I believed him.
The chili was Saturday’s project, but the week asked for more than one warm thing. Bread pudding is what I make when fall has fully arrived and I want something that requires almost nothing of me emotionally but gives a lot back — stale bread, a custard, a bright lemon sauce that cuts through the richness in a way that keeps you coming back for another spoonful. It felt right after a week of careful texts and two kitchens and a birthday that passed the way birthdays do now, quietly and with cake. This is the recipe I keep coming back to. It is not complicated. That is part of why I love it.
Grandmother’s Bread Pudding with Lemon Sauce
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 45 min | Total Time: 1 hr 5 min | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 6 cups day-old bread, cut into 1-inch cubes (French bread or brioche works well)
- 2 cups whole milk
- 1/2 cup heavy cream
- 3 large eggs
- 3/4 cup granulated sugar
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, plus more for the pan
- 1/3 cup raisins (optional)
- For the lemon sauce:
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter
- 1 cup powdered sugar, sifted
- 1 large egg, well beaten
- 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
- 1 teaspoon fresh lemon zest
Instructions
- Preheat and prep. Heat your oven to 350°F. Butter a 9x13-inch baking dish generously and set aside.
- Make the custard. In a large bowl, whisk together the milk, cream, eggs, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg until smooth and well combined.
- Soak the bread. Spread the bread cubes evenly in the prepared baking dish. Pour the custard mixture over the top. Press the bread down gently with the back of a spoon so it absorbs the liquid. Let it rest for 15 minutes. Scatter raisins over the top if using, and drizzle with the melted butter.
- Bake. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, until the center is just set and the top is deep golden brown. A knife inserted in the center should come out clean. Let it rest 10 minutes before serving.
- Make the lemon sauce. While the pudding bakes, melt the butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Whisk in the powdered sugar until smooth, then whisk in the beaten egg. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, for 3 to 4 minutes until the sauce thickens slightly — do not let it boil. Remove from heat and stir in the lemon juice and zest.
- Serve. Spoon warm bread pudding into bowls or onto plates and drizzle the lemon sauce over the top. Serve immediately while both are warm.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 390 | Protein: 8g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 51g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 230mg