By School starts in two and a half weeks and I have been doing the back-to-school prep in the way I always do it, with lists and classroom planning and the particular focus of a teacher who knows what needs to happen before September. It is harder this year because there is a layer underneath everything, a heaviness that is not incapacitating but is present, and that I am learning to work around the way you learn to work around any permanent structural change.
Patty called at 7:15 every morning this week and the 7:15 call has changed. It is still "just checking in" but there is something underneath it now, a layer I can hear without her saying it, which is: I am checking in because the person who taught me to check in is gone and I need to check in more, not less. I said this to her on Thursday and she was quiet for a moment and said "yes, that's right" and we talked for an hour.
The notebook is in my kitchen drawer and I have been cooking from it twice this week. The potato pancakes, which are different from any potato pancake recipe I have seen elsewhere: grated raw potato, egg, a little flour, pan-fried in butter until crisp. I served them with sour cream and Owen ate three pieces. They were close to hers. Close is not hers. But I am going to keep making them until they are as close as I can get.
Ryan asked on Tuesday how I was doing and I said: a little sad most of the time, functional, okay. He nodded and said that sounded about right. He is good at receiving a true answer. He always has been. I married a man who does not need me to be fine when I am not fine, which is the most useful quality a partner can have and which I did not fully understand I had until I needed it.
I keep thinking about what it means to cook from someone else’s handwriting — the way Babcia Rose’s potato pancakes are almost hers, but not quite, and how I will keep making them anyway. When I went looking for something to bake this week, something that felt like it carried the same weight as that notebook in my drawer, I landed on Grandma Nardi’s Italian Easter Bread. It is not Polish. It is not from her. But it is exactly the kind of recipe that gets written down in someone’s handwriting and passed forward, which is what I needed to be holding right now.
Grandma Nardi’s Italian Easter Bread
Prep Time: 30 minutes + 2 hours rise | Cook Time: 30 minutes | Total Time: 3 hours | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for kneading
- 1/3 cup granulated sugar
- 1 packet (2 1/4 tsp) active dry yeast
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 2/3 cup whole milk, warmed to 110°F
- 2 large eggs, room temperature
- 1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
- 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
- 1/2 tsp anise extract (optional, traditional)
- 4–6 dyed Easter eggs, uncooked (for nesting in the braid)
- 1 egg, beaten with 1 tbsp milk (egg wash)
- Rainbow nonpareils or colored sprinkles, for topping
Instructions
- Activate the yeast. In a small bowl, combine the warm milk and 1 tsp of the sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and let sit for 5–10 minutes until foamy. If it does not foam, start over with fresh yeast.
- Mix the dough. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, remaining sugar, and salt. Make a well in the center and add the yeast mixture, eggs, softened butter, vanilla, and anise extract if using. Stir until a shaggy dough forms.
- Knead. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 8–10 minutes until smooth and elastic. The dough should be soft but not sticky. Add flour 1 tablespoon at a time only if needed.
- First rise. Place dough in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with a clean towel or plastic wrap, and let rise in a warm place for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, until doubled in size.
- Shape the braid. Punch down the dough and divide it into three equal ropes, each about 18 inches long. Braid the three ropes together, then bring the ends together to form a ring. Pinch the ends firmly to seal. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
- Nest the eggs. Gently press the dyed uncooked eggs down into the braid at even intervals around the ring, nestling each one between the braids.
- Second rise. Cover loosely and let rise another 30–45 minutes until puffy.
- Bake. Preheat oven to 350°F. Brush the bread gently with egg wash, avoiding the dyed eggs. Scatter sprinkles over the top. Bake for 25–30 minutes until deep golden brown. If the top colors too quickly, tent loosely with foil.
- Cool. Transfer to a wire rack and cool at least 20 minutes before slicing. The nested eggs will have cooked through during baking.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 310 | Protein: 9g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 49g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 180mg