Gluten-Free Banana Oat Pancakes

James and I had our first real fight on Wednesday. Not a disagreement ╬ôçö we've had those, quiet negotiations about counter space and Zoom schedules and who forgot to buy eggs ╬ôçö but a fight. Voices raised, door closed, twenty minutes of silence afterward that felt like an hour. It started over nothing. It started over everything. He left his coffee mug on my cutting board and I snapped, and the snap wasn't about the mug, it was about six months of sharing seven hundred square feet with another human being and never once being alone, truly alone, in a space that used to be entirely mine.

He knew that. He's smart enough to know that. He went for a walk ╬ôçö mask on, headphones in, the pandemic version of storming out ╬ôçö and I stood in the kitchen feeling awful and made buchimgae. Pajeon, specifically ╬ôçö scallion pancakes, the batter thin enough to crisp, the scallions laid in neat rows because I needed something to be neat. I fried four of them, golden and lacy, the edges crackling in the oil, and by the time James came back the condo smelled like sesame and green onion and apology. He ate two standing at the counter without saying anything. Then he said, "I'll buy you a bigger cutting board." I said, "I'll buy you a mug shelf." We laughed. The fight was over. The thing under the fight ╬ôçö the claustrophobia, the pandemic pressure, the fact that cohabitation is a crucible no one warned us about ╬ôçö that's ongoing. But the pancakes helped. Food as peace offering is a language older than any fight.

Thursday I made a batch of mandu ╬ôçö Korean dumplings, pork and tofu and chives, the wrappers store-bought because I'm not ready to make my own yet. I folded sixty of them at the kitchen table while on a work call, camera off, pleating each one with the concentration of someone defusing a small, delicious bomb. Froze most of them. Boiled a dozen for dinner in a clear broth with a few drops of soy sauce and sesame oil. Simple. Restorative. The kind of meal you eat when you want to be taken care of and the only person available to do it is yourself.

Saturday, Korean class. We learned the conditional tense ╬ôçö "if" statements, the grammar of possibility. If I go to Korea. If I find her. If she wants to be found. My instructor doesn't know why I'm learning Korean. Nobody in the class does. They think I'm a heritage speaker brushing up. I let them think that. Some searches are private until you're ready to say them out loud.

I keep coming back to the pan. The pajeon I made after the fight was crispy and savory and exactly right for that moment — but the impulse behind it, the need to stand at the stove and make something orderly and warm while the feelings settle, that impulse doesn’t belong to one recipe. Sunday morning I found myself there again, quieter now, and these banana oat pancakes were what I wanted: simple enough to make half-asleep, sweet without being cloying, the kind of breakfast that asks nothing of you and gives a lot back. James ate three. I ate two standing at the counter, which felt like a small and deliberate echo of something.

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 30 min | Servings: 4 (about 12 pancakes)

Ingredients

2 medium ripe bananas, mashed
2 large eggs
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup gluten-free rolled oats
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon maple syrup, plus more for serving
1 to 2 tablespoons neutral oil or butter, for the pan

Instructions

Blend the batter. Add the oats to a blender or food processor and pulse until they form a coarse flour, about 30 seconds. Add the mashed bananas, eggs, Greek yogurt, vanilla, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and maple syrup. Blend until smooth and combined, scraping down the sides once. Let the batter rest for 5 minutes to thicken slightly.
Heat the pan. Warm a nonstick skillet or griddle over medium heat. Add a small amount of oil or butter and swirl to coat. The pan is ready when a drop of water sizzles and evaporates on contact.
Cook in batches. Pour roughly 3 tablespoons of batter per pancake onto the skillet, leaving room between them. Cook until bubbles form across the surface and the edges look set, about 2 to 3 minutes. Flip and cook the second side until golden, 1 to 2 minutes more. Adjust the heat as needed between batches.
Keep warm and serve. Transfer finished pancakes to a low oven (200°F) to keep warm while you cook the remaining batter. Serve with maple syrup, sliced banana, or fresh berries.

Nutrition (per serving)

Gluten-Free Banana Oat Pancakes — When the Only Apology That Makes Sense Is Made in a Skillet