By Valentine's Day. I made the heart cookies again, the second year in a row, and this year Owen helped in the sense that he stood next to me at the counter and very carefully placed one sprinkle at a time on each cookie and considered the placement before committing, which is Owen entirely. Nora helped in the sense that she put her hand in the frosting bowl twice and had to be redirected twice and each time accepted the redirection with good grace and immediately tried again, which is Nora entirely.
Ryan was on shift on Valentine's Day, which is the third time in five years. He texted the same text he sends every Valentine's Day when he is on shift: Happy Valentine's Day, I love you, give the kids a kiss from me. I texted back the same photo I always send: whoever is most accessible at the moment, in this case Nora, who was eating her sprinkle cookie with her entire face. He sent back the heart emoji. This is our Valentine's Day tradition when he is on shift. It is a good one.
I have been thinking about thirty. About where I was at twenty-one, sitting on a bench outside the biology building at Northeastern the night Jess died, screaming into my phone. About where I am now. Thirty in two weeks. Married three years. Two children. Teacher eight years. Slow cooker meals and Babcia Rose's notebook and a blog that has been going for six years now, that has a readership that sends me recipes and tells me I changed their lives. I did not know, at twenty-one on that bench, that I was going to build this. But here it is.
Chicken tortilla soup this week: shredded Costco rotisserie chicken, chicken broth, a can of black beans, a can of corn, a can of diced tomatoes and green chiles, cumin, chili powder. Topped with crushed tortilla chips, sour cream, shredded cheese. Twenty-minute meal. Fed us twice. This is the math of our lives and I love it. This is exactly the math I want.
The heart cookies carried us through Valentine’s Day, but the week after — the week I kept thinking about thirty, about Jess, about everything I have built since that bench outside the biology building — called for something a little more indulgent. Brownies felt right. Fudgy ones, the kind Owen can help mix and Nora can hover near without too much damage, the kind that make the kitchen smell like something good is happening. I have been making this version for years and it never lets me down.
Fudgy Brownie Recipe
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 30 minutes | Total Time: 40 minutes | Servings: 16
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 2 large eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
Instructions
- Preheat the oven. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease an 8x8-inch baking pan or line it with parchment paper.
- Melt the butter. In a medium saucepan over low heat, melt the butter completely. Remove from heat and let cool slightly, about 2 minutes.
- Mix the wet ingredients. Stir the sugar into the melted butter until combined. Add the eggs one at a time, stirring well after each. Add the vanilla extract and stir to combine.
- Add the dry ingredients. Sift in the cocoa powder, flour, salt, and baking powder. Stir until just combined — do not overmix. The batter will be thick.
- Bake. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan. Bake for 25–30 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with moist crumbs (not wet batter). The center should look just set.
- Cool before cutting. Let the brownies cool in the pan for at least 15 minutes before cutting into 16 squares. For cleaner cuts, cool completely.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 145 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 7g | Carbs: 20g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 55mg