By June. The garden is in full spring production — strawberries, peas, early radishes, new lettuce. I pick in the mornings and bring a small bowl of fresh things to Sean's bed. He eats a strawberry. He eats a pea. He smiles at the small plate. He says "summer, Kate." I say "yes, Sean."
He is declining. I can see it. Lucia can see it. He has begun to sleep more hours each day. His speech is slower. His vocabulary is slightly reduced — he is reaching for words occasionally. His left side is weaker (the tumor is on the left). He can still walk to the bathroom with help. He still takes the stool at the stove some mornings, though only for five minutes at a time. He still eats. But the curve is downward.
We pushed harder on the letters this week. He had good hours Tuesday and Thursday. We did three letters each day. By Thursday evening we had finished the Liam birthday letters through age 18 (three more beyond what we had) and the Nora birthday letters through age 15. Nora's age 16, 17, 18 are still to come. Sean wants to finish them. I want him to finish them. I do not know if we will. We are working.
He also wrote letters to each of them for specific milestones — not just birthdays. A letter for high school graduation. A letter for college graduation. A letter for wedding day. A letter for becoming a parent. He wrote these together to both children and I will split them as needed. He said "Kate. I do not know who is going to need what. You hand them out when the time is right." I said "I will."
He also wrote a letter to me. Thursday afternoon. He dictated. I typed. It was long — over a thousand words. I am not going to write the content on this page. It is mine. I will read it when I am ready, after. It is saved in the protected folder. It is addressed "To Kate. From Sean." I have it.
Cold soups this week. The strawberry-rhubarb, the cucumber-yogurt, the chilled pea. Sean likes cold on his tongue. His mouth sores have flared again. Cold things soothe them. The chilled pea soup I had planned to make back in June of the first summer in the garden and never got around to. I made it. I had to. The peas were right. I brought him a small cup. He drank half. He said "Kate. This is excellent." I said "thank you, Sean."
Linda brought us strawberries from her garden Saturday. She has a small patch. She brought a whole pint. I put half of them on Sean's bedside table. I put the other half in the refrigerator for the kids. Linda sat with Sean for ten minutes. I do not know what they talked about. She came out quiet. She hugged me at the door. She said "Kate." I said "I know." She went home.
Cold things were the kindness I could offer this June — cold soups, cold cups, small cold portions brought to a bedside. The smoothies came out of the same instinct: Linda’s strawberries were sitting in the refrigerator, the children needed something easy and bright, and I needed to do something with my hands that felt like it was helping. A red smoothie is not a remedy. But it is cold, and it is sweet, and it is the color of strawberries in June, and some days that is exactly enough.
Fruity Red Smoothies
Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 5 minutes | Servings: 2
Ingredients
- 1 cup fresh or frozen strawberries, hulled
- 1/2 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
- 1/2 cup pitted sweet cherries, fresh or frozen
- 1 small ripe banana, broken into chunks
- 3/4 cup plain whole-milk yogurt
- 1/2 cup 100% pomegranate or cranberry juice, cold
- 1 tablespoon honey, or to taste
- 1/2 cup ice (omit if using all frozen fruit)
Instructions
- Prep the fruit. If using fresh fruit, rinse strawberries, raspberries, and cherries. Hull the strawberries and pit the cherries if not already done. Break the banana into rough chunks.
- Add to blender. Place the banana in the blender first, then add the strawberries, raspberries, and cherries. Spoon in the yogurt and pour in the cold juice.
- Sweeten. Drizzle in the honey. Taste preferences vary — start with one tablespoon and add more after blending if needed.
- Blend until smooth. Add ice if using fresh fruit. Blend on high for 45 to 60 seconds, until completely smooth and a deep, vivid red.
- Taste and adjust. Sample the smoothie and add a small splash more juice if it’s too thick, or a few more ice cubes if you’d like it colder. Blend briefly to combine.
- Pour and serve immediately. Divide between two glasses. Serve cold, with a straw if helpful.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 210 | Protein: 6g | Fat: 3g | Carbs: 42g | Fiber: 5g | Sodium: 45mg