Dad turned fifty-one this week. He's not a big birthday person — the man communicates in eggs and gardening, he's not going to throw himself a party — but Mom made it an event because that's what she does. The Donna Abernathy Birthday Protocol: person's favorite dinner, homemade cake, family singing 'Happy Birthday' whether you want them to or not.
Dad's favorite dinner: steak. Specifically, a ribeye, seasoned with salt and pepper and nothing else because Kevin Abernathy believes that a good steak needs nothing but heat and salt and that anyone who puts steak sauce on a ribeye is committing a crime. He grilled his own birthday steak because nobody touches his grill, not even on his birthday. Mom made twice-baked potatoes (baked, scooped, mixed with butter, cream, cheddar, bacon, scallions, scooped back in, baked again) and a Caesar salad with homemade dressing.
The cake was German chocolate — Dad's favorite since childhood. Mom makes it from scratch: chocolate cake layers, coconut-pecan frosting that takes forty-five minutes of stirring on the stove because the custard has to thicken SLOWLY and if you rush it, it breaks. 'Patience,' she says, stirring. 'This frosting requires patience.' Dad, who spent twenty-two years in the Navy, understands patience. Dad, who waited thirty minutes for his birthday cake, was less patient.
We sang. Dad blew out candles. He made a wish. When I asked what he wished for, he said, 'I already have it,' and looked at Mom, and I said 'Oh my God, Dad' and pretended to gag, but secretly — SECRETLY — my heart did a thing that I won't describe because I'm nineteen and I have a reputation to maintain.
Megan sent a card. A nice one. With a gift card to Home Depot, which is objectively the best gift you can give Kevin Abernathy because he will spend three hours at Home Depot looking at power tools and garden supplies and come home with four bags of mulch and the serene expression of a man who has visited a temple.
Fifty-one. My father is fifty-one years old and has survived three deployments, an IED, PTSD, and twenty-two years of military service. He grows tomatoes. He grills his own birthday steak. He makes wishes he already has.
Happy birthday, Dad. You deserve every candle.
Dad’s philosophy — a good ribeye needs nothing but heat and salt — is honestly the best Friday night dinner advice I’ve ever received, even if he delivered it entirely by example and never once said it out loud. Watching him fire up that grill on his own birthday, completely unbothered, reminded me that the most celebratory meals are almost always the simplest ones. So here’s the Friday night dinner that’s been living rent-free in my head ever since: a properly seasoned ribeye, done the way Kevin Abernathy would do it, no sauce required.
Friday Night Dinner Ideas: Salt & Pepper Ribeye Steak
Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 22 min (plus 30 min rest) | Servings: 2
Ingredients
- 2 bone-in ribeye steaks, 1 to 1 1/4 inch thick (about 12–14 oz each)
- 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt, divided
- 1 teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper, divided
- 1 tablespoon neutral oil (canola or avocado)
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 3 garlic cloves, lightly smashed
- 3 sprigs fresh thyme
Instructions
- Season and rest the steaks. Pat both ribeyes completely dry with paper towels. Season generously on all sides with kosher salt and cracked black pepper — about 3/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper per steak. Set on a wire rack at room temperature for at least 30 minutes before cooking. This step is non-negotiable.
- Heat the pan or grill. If using a cast iron skillet, place it over high heat for 3–4 minutes until it is smoking hot. If grilling, heat grill to high (450–500°F) and oil the grates. Add the oil to the skillet just before the steaks go in.
- Sear the first side. Lay steaks away from you into the hot skillet or onto the grill. Do not move them. Sear for 3–4 minutes until a deep mahogany crust has formed on the underside.
- Flip and sear the second side. Flip once. Sear for another 3–4 minutes for medium-rare (internal temperature of 130–135°F). Use an instant-read thermometer — this is the one tool worth using.
- Baste with butter (skillet method). In the final 90 seconds of cooking, reduce heat to medium and add butter, smashed garlic, and thyme to the pan. Tilt the pan and use a spoon to continuously baste the steaks with the foaming butter. For grill method, skip this step and add a pat of butter after resting.
- Rest the steaks. Transfer to a clean wire rack or cutting board. Rest for 5–8 minutes. Do not cut into them early. The steak will continue to cook slightly and the juices will redistribute.
- Serve. Slice against the grain or serve whole. No sauce. This is not up for debate.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 620 | Protein: 52g | Fat: 44g | Carbs: 1g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 820mg
About the cook who shared this
Rachel Abernathy
Week 64 of Rachel’s 30-year story
· San Diego, California
Rachel is a twenty-eight-year-old Marine wife and mom of two who has moved five times in six years and learned to cook a Thanksgiving dinner with half her cookware still in boxes. She married young, survived postpartum depression, and feeds her family of four on a junior Marine's salary with a freezer full of pre-made meals and a crockpot that has never let her down. She writes for the military spouses who are cooking dinner alone in base housing and wondering if they're enough. You are.
