Freezer Friendly Everything Bagel Bombs -- Stock the Freezer Now, Celebrate Later

Columbus Day weekend, or as I prefer to call it, a day off that I will use to cook and not to celebrate a man who got lost on the way to India and stumbled into the Caribbean and called us Indians, which we were not, and then proceeded to do things to the Taino people that I will not discuss in this space because this is a food blog and not a history lecture, though if you want the history lecture I am available on Sundays after dinner with coffee and strong opinions.

I used the long weekend to make a massive batch of pasteles. Not because of Dona Mirta — the pasteles war is over and I won, as documented — but because Christmas is coming in two months and pasteles need to be made ahead and frozen, and a wise Puerto Rican woman starts her Christmas pasteles in October. Abuela Consuelo started hers in September. Mami started hers in October. I start mine in October. This is the timeline. This is the law.

I recruited Rosa, who came up from New Haven for the weekend. We stood in my kitchen for seven hours — grating the green banana and yautia by hand, making the masa, preparing the pork filling with sofrito and olives and capers, cutting banana leaves, assembling each pastel with the precision of women who know that one poorly folded pastel brings shame on three generations. Rosa is a good assistant. She follows instructions. She does not argue about technique. She argues about everything else — politics, Rosa opinions on education policy could fill a library — but in the kitchen, she defers to me, because in the kitchen I am the authority and Rosa knows it.

We made forty-eight pasteles. They are in my chest freezer now, stacked like bricks, each one a small package of love and labor and Puerto Rican identity wrapped in banana leaf and tied with string. When Christmas comes, I will boil them and serve them and everyone at my table will eat them and remember where they come from, which is Bayamon, which is Abuela Consuelo kitchen, which is the hands of women who believed that feeding your family was the most sacred act a person could perform.

Eduardo wandered through the kitchen periodically, picking at the pork filling when he thought I was not looking. I was looking. I am always looking. I let him steal a few pieces because marriage is about strategic blindness — you see everything but you choose which battles to fight, and Eduardo stealing pork filling is not a battle. It is a tax. The husband tax. It has existed for twenty-eight years and I have never once increased the rate.

Seven hours on your feet, forty-eight pasteles in the freezer, and the satisfaction of a job done right —that is the kind of day that reminds you why batch cooking is not a chore but a gift you give your future self. While my chest freezer is now spoken for until Christmas, I always make room for these Freezer Friendly Everything Bagel Bombs, because the same wisdom that says a wise Puerto Rican woman starts her pasteles in October also says that the smart cook never lets a good batch-cooking session go to waste. Pull these out for a weeknight gathering, a holiday party, or —if Eduardo is lurking around the kitchen again —an offering to keep him away from whatever you actually care about.

Freezer Friendly Everything Bagel Bombs

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 15 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes (plus cooling before freezing) | Servings: 24 bagel bombs

Ingredients

• 2 cans (16 oz each) refrigerated biscuit dough (8 biscuits per can)
• 8 oz cream cheese, softened and cut into 24 equal cubes
• 4 oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese (about 1 cup)
• 3 tablespoons everything bagel seasoning, divided
• 1 large egg
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted (for finishing)

Instructions

1. Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 375°F. Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
2. Flatten the dough. Separate each biscuit and use your palm or a rolling pin to flatten each one into a roughly 3-inch circle.
3. Fill the bombs. Place one cube of cream cheese and about 1 teaspoon of shredded cheddar in the center of each dough round. Sprinkle a pinch of everything bagel seasoning over the filling.
4. Seal tightly. Gather the edges of each dough circle up and around the filling, pinching firmly to seal completely. Roll gently between your palms to form a smooth ball. Place seam-side down on the prepared baking sheets, spacing about 2 inches apart.
5. Egg wash and season. Whisk together the egg and water. Brush each bagel bomb lightly with the egg wash, then sprinkle generously with the remaining everything bagel seasoning.
6. Bake. Bake for 13–15 minutes, until deep golden brown. Brush immediately with melted butter as they come out of the oven. Let cool on the pan for 5 minutes before serving or cooling fully for freezing.
7. Freeze for later. To freeze, cool bagel bombs completely on a wire rack (at least 30 minutes). Arrange in a single layer on a parchment-lined baking sheet and freeze until solid, about 1 hour. Transfer to a zip-top freezer bag or airtight container and freeze for up to 3 months. To reheat, bake from frozen at 350°F for 12–14 minutes, or microwave on medium for 45–60 seconds.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 148 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 15g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 340mg