Freezer-Friendly Deluxe Pizza Stuffed Shells

January 2021. The vaccine is coming. Not here yet — not in my arm, not in Mami's arm, not in the arms of my team — but the word vaccine exists now in the vocabulary of the pandemic, and the word changes the air the way the word spring changes the air in February: nothing is different yet, but the possibility of different is present, and the possibility is enough to cook toward.

At the hospital, the conversation has shifted from endurance to planning — when will the staff be vaccinated, in what order, with which vaccine, the logistics of inoculating a hospital workforce that has been running on adrenaline and duty for ten months. My team will be in the early groups — food service is patient-facing, essential, the people who walk into patient rooms with trays and walk out with exposure. I told my team on Tuesday: we are getting the vaccine as soon as it is available and this is not a discussion. Maria said, Ms. D, I'm nervous. I said, Maria, I have been nervous since March. Nervous is not a reason not to eat, and nervous is not a reason not to get vaccinated. She said, You're right. She is right about my being right. I am usually right. This is not arrogance. This is track record.

Mami is eighty-three and will be in the first wave of elderly vaccinations. I called her doctor — Dr. Reyes, who has been her physician for ten years and who understands that calling Luz María's daughter is calling a woman who will not be managed but will be engaged — and confirmed the timeline. February. Mami will be vaccinated in February. The vaccine will not cure the fog. The vaccine will not bring back the memories. But the vaccine will mean I can sit next to my mother without a mask. I can hold her hand. I can put my face close to her face and say, Mami, it's Carmen, and she can see my mouth, and maybe the mouth will help her remember, because the face has always helped and the mask has been a wall between us.

The word planning came back into my life that January, and I wanted to meet it in the kitchen. When you have been running on pure duty for ten months, the act of making something for the freezer — something you will eat on a future Tuesday, a Tuesday when things might be different — is its own kind of faith. These Pizza Stuffed Shells are what I made that week: enough for now, enough to freeze, enough to carry me forward to February when I could finally hold my mother’s hand.

Prep Time: 25 min | Cook Time: 45 min | Total Time: 1 hr 10 min | Servings: 6

Ingredients

24 jumbo pasta shells
1 lb Italian sausage, casings removed
1/2 lb lean ground beef
1 cup diced green bell pepper
1/2 cup diced onion
1/2 cup sliced black olives
1/2 cup mini pepperoni slices, divided
15 oz whole-milk ricotta cheese
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp dried Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
24 oz marinara sauce, divided
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Instructions

Cook the shells. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook jumbo shells 2 minutes less than package directions (they will finish cooking in the oven). Drain, rinse with cold water, and lay flat on a lightly oiled baking sheet to prevent sticking.
Brown the meat. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, cook Italian sausage and ground beef together, breaking up with a spoon, until no longer pink, about 7–8 minutes. Add bell pepper and onion; cook 3 minutes more until softened. Drain excess fat.
Build the filling. Remove skillet from heat. Stir in olives and half the pepperoni. In a large bowl, combine ricotta, egg, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Fold the meat mixture into the ricotta mixture until evenly combined. Stir in 1/2 cup of the mozzarella.
Assemble. Spread 1 cup marinara across the bottom of a 9x13-inch baking dish. Using a spoon, fill each shell generously with the meat-ricotta mixture and nestle them seam-side up in the dish in a single layer. Pour remaining marinara evenly over the shells.
Top and bake. Sprinkle remaining mozzarella, remaining pepperoni, and Parmesan over the top. Cover tightly with foil and bake at 375°F for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake an additional 12–15 minutes until cheese is bubbly and lightly golden. Let rest 5 minutes before serving.
To freeze. After assembling (before baking), cover the dish tightly with plastic wrap, then foil. Label and freeze for up to 3 months. To bake from frozen: remove plastic wrap, replace foil, and bake at 375°F for 60 minutes covered, then 15 minutes uncovered.

Nutrition (per serving)

Freezer-Friendly Deluxe Pizza Stuffed Shells — Cooking Toward the Vaccine