By Sofia lost a tooth on Monday. Her second this summer — she's seven and on a schedule with these things, one every few weeks like clockwork, which is very Sofia. She didn't cry, didn't make a fuss, just walked into the kitchen holding the tooth in her palm like a scientist presenting a specimen and said, "It came out during chapter four." Not during lunch. Not during play. During chapter four. Of what book, I didn't ask, because with Sofia the answer would be detailed and I'd need to sit down.
The tooth fairy in this house is Lisa, because I tried once and left five dollars under Diego's pillow, and Lisa informed me that the going rate was one dollar and I had just caused inflation in the tooth fairy economy. She handles the fairy logistics now. I handle the grill. Division of labor.
We had the coaching staff over Saturday night — end of summer get-together, unofficial, just burgers and talk before the real grind starts in August. I made smash burgers on the flat-top griddle. Two thin patties per burger, seasoned with salt and pepper, smashed flat with a spatula until the edges go crispy and lacy. American cheese melted over the top patty. Pickles, raw onion, a little yellow mustard. Simple. No green chile because I have no green chile, a fact I mentioned to my defensive coordinator, Ray, who said, "You've told me this every week since May." I have. I will continue. The man should know what he's missing.
The conversation turned to the upcoming season, as it always does when you put coaches near food. We've got a tough nonconference slate — a 5A team from Aurora in week two that ran the table last year. I like our defensive line but our secondary is young. Ray says the same thing he says every July: "They'll grow up fast." He's usually right. Getting hit tends to accelerate maturity.
Called Gloria on Sunday. She said Hector went to the doctor on Friday and his numbers are "fine," which in Gloria's vocabulary means anything from genuinely fine to catastrophically not fine but she doesn't want to worry me. I asked to talk to Hector. He said, "I'm fine, mijo." Like father, like mother. I'll call Sofia — the doctor, not my seven-year-old, though give her fifteen years — no, I'll call Patricia. Patricia will tell me the truth. Patricia always tells the truth, especially when you don't want to hear it.
Feed your people. The game is won at the table.
Some weeks you need a meal that doesn’t ask anything of you—no technique to second-guess, no timing to sweat, just heat and weight and something good coming out the other side. With Hector’s numbers floating somewhere between “fine” and whatever Gloria actually meant, and Patricia’s number sitting undialed in my phone, I wanted to feed people the way you feed people when words aren’t doing the job. Smash burgers are exactly that—honest, fast, and loud on a flat-top in a way that fills a room and keeps everybody at the table a little longer than they planned.
Flat-Top Smash Burgers
Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 25 min | Servings: 4 burgers
Ingredients
- 1 lb 80/20 ground beef, divided into 8 loose 2-oz balls (do not pack tightly)
- Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 8 slices American cheese
- 4 soft hamburger buns, lightly toasted
- Dill pickle chips
- 1/2 white onion, thinly sliced into rings
- Yellow mustard
- Neutral oil or beef tallow for the griddle
Instructions
- Heat the griddle. Set a flat-top griddle or large cast iron skillet over medium-high heat for 4—5 minutes until very hot. Add a thin layer of oil and let it shimmer.
- Smash the patties. Place 2 loosely-formed beef balls on the griddle, spacing them apart. Immediately press each ball firmly and flat with a stiff spatula—smash hard and hold for 5 seconds. You want the edges to go thin and lacy. Season the tops generously with salt and pepper.
- Cook without moving. Let the patties cook undisturbed for 2—3 minutes until the edges are deep brown and crispy and the tops have mostly lost their pink color. Do not press again after the initial smash.
- Flip and cheese. Flip each patty with a firm scrape to capture the crust. Immediately lay one slice of American cheese on each patty. Let cook 30—45 seconds until the cheese is melted and starting to drape over the edges.
- Stack and rest. Slide one cheesed patty on top of the other on the griddle for 15 seconds so the cheese bonds them together. Transfer the double stack to a waiting toasted bun bottom. Repeat with remaining beef balls.
- Dress and serve. Top each burger with a squeeze of yellow mustard, a few pickle chips, and a small handful of raw white onion rings. Cap with the top bun and serve immediately while the crust is still crackling.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 640 | Protein: 36g | Fat: 38g | Carbs: 34g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 920mg