Filipino Beans and Rice — The Recipe That Told Curtis I Was Going to Be Okay

Back to some version of routine. I wake up. I make breakfast. I drive the kids to school. I counsel other people's children about their problems while my own problems sit in the waiting room of my chest, patient and enormous. I drive home. I cook. I eat or pretend to eat. I check on Daddy. I fall asleep on the couch. I do it again.

The Set the Table girls have been texting Destiny, asking when classes resume. I haven't had the energy. The thought of standing in a kitchen — that kitchen, the church kitchen where Mama sat on a stool and taught those girls cornbread, where she said "Don't let them put sugar in my grits" — makes my chest hurt. But Destiny texted me directly this week. She said, "Miss Tamika, we miss you. We miss cooking." She didn't say, "Are you okay?" She's fifteen. She knows that question has no useful answer. She just said she missed me. She said the kitchen missed me. That was enough.

I'll go back. Not yet. But soon. Because those girls need the table and the table doesn't set itself and Mama would be furious if she knew I stopped because of her. "Don't stop cooking because of me." She said it while dying. She said it as her last words. She said it and I heard it and I am trying to obey but obedience is hard when the instructor is gone and you're standing in the kitchen alone.

Curtis came for dinner Saturday. He's doing it every week now — driving from Cascade Heights to College Park, which takes forty minutes in traffic, to eat at my table because his table has one chair that's been empty for a month and he can't sit across from it anymore. He ate two plates of my red beans and rice — Mama's recipe, the one with the smoked turkey necks — and he said, "This is good." Not "this is different." Not "your mama's is better." Just "this is good." Curtis Jackson told me my food was good. I went to the bathroom and cried. Progress looks different for everyone.

Jasmine asked me to teach her Mama's cornbread. Not the church-class cornbread — the home cornbread, the family cornbread, cast iron skillet, no sugar, the one that Brenda made every Sunday. I said yes. We stood at the counter and I showed her: cornmeal, buttermilk, egg, a pinch of salt, the skillet smoking with bacon grease. She stirred. She poured. She waited by the oven. When it came out — golden, cracking at the edges, fragrant — she looked at me and said, "Grandma would say it needs something." I said, "Grandma always said that." Jasmine smiled. The first real smile in weeks. The cornbread was perfect.

The Saturday Curtis scraped his second plate clean and said “this is good” — not “like Mama’s,” just “good” — I understood that this pot of beans and rice had done something I hadn’t been able to do for myself in weeks: it held someone. This is Mama’s recipe as I learned it, with the smoked turkey necks she swore were non-negotiable, adjusted only by my own hands and my own grief-seasoned instincts. I’m writing it down now because Jasmine will ask for it next, and because some things are too important to keep only in your chest.

Red Beans and Rice with Smoked Turkey Necks

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 1 hour 45 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours 5 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• 1 lb dried red kidney beans, soaked overnight and drained (or 2 cans, 15 oz each, drained and rinsed for a quicker version)
• 1 1/2 lbs smoked turkey necks
• 1 medium yellow onion, diced
• 1 green bell pepper, diced
• 3 stalks celery, diced
• 5 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, with juices
• 6 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 2 teaspoons smoked paprika
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (or to taste)
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• Salt and black pepper to taste
• 3 green onions, thinly sliced, for serving
• 4 cups cooked long-grain white rice, for serving

Instructions

1. Build the base. Heat the vegetable oil in a large heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add the onion, bell pepper, and celery. Cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and fragrant, about 8 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more.
2. Add the meat. Nestle the smoked turkey necks into the pot. Pour in the chicken broth and diced tomatoes. Stir in the smoked paprika, thyme, oregano, cayenne, and bay leaves. Bring to a boil.
3. Simmer low and slow. Reduce heat to low, cover, and let the turkey necks simmer for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until the meat begins to pull away from the bone and the broth is deeply fragrant.
4. Add the beans. Remove the turkey necks and set aside to cool slightly. Add the soaked, drained beans to the pot. (If using canned beans, add them here.) Increase heat to medium-low and cook uncovered for 35–45 minutes, stirring occasionally, until beans are tender and the broth has thickened. If using canned beans, reduce this simmer to 20 minutes.
5. Pull the meat. Once the turkey necks are cool enough to handle, pick the meat from the bones and shred it into bite-sized pieces. Discard the bones and skin. Return the meat to the pot. Stir well.
6. Season and rest. Remove bay leaves. Taste and adjust with salt and black pepper. Let the pot sit uncovered for 10 minutes — the beans will thicken further as they rest. The consistency should be saucy but not soupy.
7. Serve. Ladle generously over cooked white rice. Top with sliced green onions.

Nutrition (per serving, with 2/3 cup rice)

Calories: 445 | Protein: 28g | Fat: 9g | Carbs: 58g | Fiber: 11g | Sodium: 720mg