By Mom sent a care package. I know it's a care package because it arrived in a Priority Mail box with my name written in Patty Kowalczyk's handwriting, which is the handwriting of a school secretary — neat, efficient, impossible to misread. Inside: two pairs of wool socks, a bag of Aldi trail mix, a ten-dollar Jewel gift card, and a note that said, "Eat something green. Love, Mom." I texted her a photo of me eating a salad. It was iceberg lettuce with ranch dressing. It was green. She doesn't need to know the details.
Student Teaching Seminar is making me nervous in the good way. We're preparing for classroom observations — we won't be teaching yet, just watching, but Dr. Okafor says we need to learn to see before we learn to do. She talks about special education classrooms like they're ecosystems. Every behavior is data. Every interaction is information. I sat in lecture and thought about the kids I tutored in high school — the ones with learning disabilities, the ones the system filed under "difficult" because the system didn't have a folder for "needs someone to pay attention." I'm going to pay attention. It's the one thing I've always been good at.
Dr. Perkins on Thursday. We talked about February. She asked if I was dreading March. I said, "Why would I dread March?" She said, "Your birthday." I'd been so focused on getting through each day that I'd forgotten my birthday is a thing that's coming — March third — and that it will be the first one without Jess. We used to celebrate together. Her birthday was April. We'd do a joint dinner at Portillo's every year in between. The Italian beef combo, dipped, with hot peppers. Split a chocolate cake shake. I haven't been to Portillo's since she died. I don't know when I'll go back.
I made a skillet of shakshuka on Saturday morning — eggs poached in spiced tomato sauce. A can of crushed tomatoes, half an onion, two cloves of garlic, cumin, paprika, a pinch of red pepper flakes, two eggs cracked right into the simmering sauce. I learned this from a YouTube video last year and it's become my favorite weekend breakfast because it costs about a dollar twenty and it makes the dorm kitchen smell like someone's home instead of a place where people microwave ramen. I ate it with toast — store-brand white bread, toasted in the communal toaster that only works on one side. You flip the bread. You adapt. That's the whole philosophy.
Shakshuka isn’t a grief food, exactly—but that Saturday morning, making something warm and bright and entirely my own felt like the closest I could get to okay. There’s something about cracking eggs into a sauce that’s already going, watching them set, that requires just enough attention to keep you present. It’s the kind of cooking that costs almost nothing and gives back more than it should. Here’s how I make it.
Dorm Kitchen Shakshuka (Eggs in Spiced Tomato Sauce)
Prep Time: 5 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 20 min | Servings: 1
Ingredients
- 1 can (14 oz) crushed tomatoes
- 1/2 small yellow onion, diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (or to taste)
- 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 tablespoon olive oil (or any neutral oil)
- 2 large eggs
- 2 slices bread, toasted, for serving
- Fresh parsley or cilantro, optional garnish
Instructions
- Soften the aromatics. Heat oil in a small skillet over medium heat. Add the diced onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and translucent, about 4–5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 30 seconds more until fragrant.
- Build the sauce. Pour in the crushed tomatoes. Add cumin, paprika, red pepper flakes, and salt. Stir to combine and let the sauce simmer over medium-low heat for 5 minutes, until it thickens slightly and the flavors come together.
- Add the eggs. Use a spoon to create two small wells in the simmering sauce. Crack one egg into each well. Cover the skillet with a lid (or a plate, if that’s what you have) and cook 4–6 minutes, until the whites are set but the yolks are still soft.
- Serve. Bring the skillet straight to the table. Eat with toast. Flip the bread in the communal toaster if you have to. You adapt. That’s the whole philosophy.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 320 | Protein: 16g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 32g | Fiber: 6g | Sodium: 780mg