By Easter. The seventh one I've written about. The first one where Amara helped in the kitchen for real — not pretend-crumbling, but actual cooking. She is four and a half now, and I gave her a job: stirring the cornbread batter. She stood on her stool, I handed her the wooden spoon (not Hattie Pearl's — a regular one, because the cast iron is too heavy for a four-year-old), and I said, "Stir. Not too fast. The batter will tell you when it's ready." She stirred. She was serious. She bit her lip the way Michael used to bite his lip when he was concentrating, and that similarity almost took my breath away because the dead don't leave us, baby — they show up in the faces of our children, in the gestures of our grandchildren, in the way a four-year-old bites her lip while stirring cornbread.
The batter was smooth. Amara said, "Is it ready?" I touched it with my finger. "Almost. One more stir." She stirred once more. "Now?" I tasted it. "Now." She grinned. She had earned her place at the stove, and she knew it.
Twenty-four people at Easter dinner. Earl Jr. and Carolyn with Amara, David Jr. (now two, walking, destroying everything in reach like a small, adorable hurricane), and Elijah (one and a half, quieter, watchful, the Henderson eyes in miniature). Patricia and Wayne from Jacksonville. Denise, Robert, Monique, James. Kayla and Devon. Thomas came — invited, welcomed, Henderson by adoption. Mrs. Crawford came too, in a taxi, dressed to the nines, eighty-eight years old and still showing up.
Grace was short. "Lord, we lost Bernice this year and gained nothing that replaces her. But we gained this table, and these people, and this food, and the knowledge that life goes on in spite of everything. Amen."
Now go on and feed somebody.
Amara stirred that cornbread like it was the most important job in the world — and it was — but the recipe I keep coming back to after an Easter dinner like this one is the egg yolk pastry I made for the hand pies we set out before the main plates came. There is something about a dough made rich with yolks that feels like it belongs to a table of twenty-four, to a grace that names what you’ve lost, to a day when Mrs. Crawford shows up dressed to the nines at eighty-eight and you remember that showing up is its own kind of grace. This is the dough I’ll teach Amara next — when her hands are a little bigger and she’s ready for something that asks more of her than a wooden spoon.
Egg Yolk Pastry
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 45 min | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon sugar
- 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
- 3 large egg yolks
- 3–4 tablespoons ice water
- 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
Instructions
- Combine dry ingredients. Whisk together the flour, salt, and sugar in a large bowl until evenly mixed.
- Cut in the butter. Add the cold butter cubes to the flour mixture. Using your fingertips or a pastry cutter, work the butter into the flour until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs with some pea-sized pieces remaining. Do not overwork — those uneven bits of butter are what make the pastry flaky.
- Add the egg yolks. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture. Add the egg yolks and vinegar. Stir with a fork to begin incorporating.
- Add ice water. Add ice water one tablespoon at a time, mixing gently after each addition, until the dough just comes together when pressed. It should not be sticky or wet.
- Rest the dough. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface, press it into a flat disk, and wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before rolling.
- Roll and use. On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough to about 1/8-inch thickness. Use as directed for your pie, tart, or hand pie recipe. For a pre-baked shell, prick the bottom with a fork, line with parchment and pie weights, and bake at 375°F for 15 minutes. Remove weights and bake an additional 8–10 minutes until golden.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 280 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 17g | Carbs: 27g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 155mg