Crustless Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake (Low Carb + Low Fat)

Kayla is thirty-two weeks. Eight months. Michael Devon Brooks is the size of — I am not going to say it. I am not going to compare my grandson to produce. He is the size of a baby. A large, active, kicking baby who has decided that his mother's bladder is a trampoline and her ribs are a xylophone and that two a.m. is an excellent time for gymnastics. Kayla is tired. Kayla is beautiful. Kayla is a charge nurse working full shifts at thirty-two weeks pregnant because the Henderson women do not sit down until the sitting down is mandatory, and mandatory is not a word that thirty-two weeks qualifies for. Not yet. Soon. But not yet.

The nursery is ready. Devon finished it — yellow walls, white crib, a rocking chair that Denise found at an estate sale and Robert refinished. The chair is oak, solid, the kind of chair that holds you while you hold the baby. I sat in it when I visited last week. I rocked. I closed my eyes. And I was in the rocking chair at the Thunderbolt house, the one where I rocked Earl Jr. and Patricia and Michael and Denise, the one where I rocked Kayla after Michael died and she needed to be held and I was the one who held her. Different chair. Same rocking. Same love. The rocking chair doesn't change. The people in it do, and the people get older and smaller and the babies get newer and bigger, and the rocking goes on.

I've been making freezer meals for Kayla. The post-baby meals. The meals that will sustain her and Devon in the first weeks when the baby is new and the sleep is gone and the world is a blur of diapers and feeding and the special insanity that only newborns can produce. I've adjusted the recipes for my diabetes — less sugar, less white rice, more vegetables — but the love is the same. You can change the ingredients. You can't change the love. The love is the ingredient that has no substitute and no restriction and no measurement. The love just goes in until the container is full.

Made chicken and dumplings tonight. The diabetes version — whole wheat flour in the dumplings, extra vegetables in the broth, less butter. It was good. Not the same good — a different good. The dumplings were denser. The broth was thinner. But the feeling was the same: warm, full, held. And that's what comfort food is, isn't it? Not the butter. Not the sugar. The feeling. The feeling of being held by a bowl of something warm.

Now go on and feed somebody.

The chicken and dumplings went into the freezer, and then I stood at the counter and thought: she needs something sweet, too. Something that feels like a treat, not a compromise. I have to watch my sugar, and I’ve gotten good at making things that taste like love instead of restriction — this crustless chocolate raspberry cheesecake is the one I keep coming back to, the one I brought to Denise after her diagnosis and she called me three days later just to say it was still good from the refrigerator. No crust means no fuss, low fat means I can have a slice without the numbers climbing, and the raspberries on top are the kind of thing that makes a tired new mother feel like somebody is taking care of her. That’s the whole point. That’s always been the whole point.

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 45 minutes | Total Time: 1 hour plus 4 hours chilling | Servings: 10

Ingredients

2 packages (8 oz each) reduced-fat cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1/2 cup granulated erythritol or your preferred sugar substitute
2 large eggs, room temperature
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/3 cup low-fat sour cream
1 tablespoon cornstarch
3/4 cup fresh or thawed frozen raspberries
2 tablespoons sugar-free raspberry jam
Cooking spray

Instructions

Preheat and prepare. Heat oven to 325°F. Lightly coat a 9-inch springform pan with cooking spray. Place the pan on a rimmed baking sheet to catch any drips.
Beat the base. In a large bowl, beat the softened cream cheese and erythritol together with a hand mixer on medium speed for 2–3 minutes until completely smooth with no lumps. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Add the eggs. Add eggs one at a time, mixing on low speed after each addition just until incorporated. Do not overmix — overmixing adds air and can cause cracking.
Add cocoa and sour cream. Sift in the cocoa powder and cornstarch, then add the vanilla and sour cream. Mix on low until the batter is smooth, uniform, and a deep chocolate color.
Pour and swirl. Pour the batter into the prepared springform pan and smooth the top. In a small bowl, stir the raspberries and sugar-free jam together, then drop spoonfuls over the top of the cheesecake. Use a thin knife or skewer to gently swirl the raspberry mixture through the top layer of batter.
Bake. Bake for 40–45 minutes, until the edges are set and the center has only a slight jiggle when you gently shake the pan. The center will firm as it cools — do not overbake.
Cool slowly. Turn off the oven and crack the door. Let the cheesecake rest in the oven for 15 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack and cool to room temperature, about 1 hour.
Chill and serve. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight. Run a thin knife around the edge before releasing the springform. Slice into 10 portions and serve cold.

Nutrition (per serving)

Crustless Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake (Low Carb + Low Fat) — Because the Love Goes In Until the Container Is Full