By Super Bowl Sunday. I don't care about football. I care about Super Bowl food, which is the only food holiday that specifically requires food you eat standing up, with your hands, while yelling at a television. I made buffalo chicken dip — shredded chicken, cream cheese, Frank's hot sauce, ranch dressing, shredded cheddar, baked until bubbly. I made pigs in blankets — cocktail wieners wrapped in crescent roll dough. I made seven-layer dip. I made a vegetable tray because I'm a mother and mothers are contractually obligated to include a vegetable tray at all events, even though the vegetable tray will be ignored by every person under the age of thirty.
Kevin invited the neighbors — Dave and Karen Peterson again, reliable party guests who bring beer and eat everything. Noah watched the game with the intensity he brings to all things mechanical, analyzing plays like engineering problems. Emma lasted through halftime, pronounced the music "okay but not great," and retreated to her room. Jack fell asleep on the floor during the second quarter, using a throw pillow and one of the dogs — Dave brought their golden retriever — as a bed.
The dog. I need to talk about the dog. Dave and Karen's golden retriever, Murphy, spent the entire game lying next to Jack, who in his sleep put his arm around the dog, and they looked like a painting, the boy and the dog, and Emma took a picture and is now using it as exhibit A in her ongoing campaign for a family pet. The case, I admit, has strengthened. Kevin said no. The case is pending appeal.
I made a crockpot of meatballs — grape jelly and chili sauce, the recipe that sounds disgusting and is inexplicably delicious. You dump a jar of grape jelly and a bottle of chili sauce into the crockpot, add frozen meatballs, stir, and wait three hours. The chemistry of sweet and heat and meat does something that shouldn't work but absolutely does. Every person who tries it asks for the recipe. Every person who hears the recipe is appalled. They make it anyway. It's the most Iowa thing I've ever encountered.
We ate too much. We laughed too much. The Patriots won, apparently. Kevin cared. I cared about the buffalo chicken dip. Priorities.
A day like that — loud and warm and full of people who make you feel like everything is going to be fine — deserves a recipe that matches the mood: zero fuss, maximum payoff, and a story that sounds too absurd to be true until you taste it. The meatballs were exactly that. If you’re putting together a spread for a crowd (or just need something bubbling in the background while the house fills up), here’s what I made.
Crockpot Grape Jelly Meatballs
Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 3 hours | Total Time: 3 hours 5 minutes | Servings: 12 (as an appetizer)
Ingredients
- 1 (32 oz) bag frozen fully cooked cocktail meatballs
- 1 (18 oz) jar grape jelly
- 1 (12 oz) bottle chili sauce (such as Heinz)
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (optional)
- Toothpicks and fresh parsley for serving (optional)
Instructions
- Combine sauce. Add the grape jelly and chili sauce to the insert of a 4- to 6-quart slow cooker. Stir together until combined. Add garlic powder if using.
- Add meatballs. Pour the frozen meatballs directly into the sauce. Stir to coat evenly. No thawing required.
- Slow cook. Cover and cook on LOW for 3 to 4 hours or on HIGH for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, stirring once halfway through, until the sauce is glossy and the meatballs are heated through.
- Keep warm and serve. Switch the slow cooker to the WARM setting for serving. Stir before plating. Serve directly from the crockpot with toothpicks alongside. Garnish with chopped parsley if desired.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 280 | Protein: 12g | Fat: 11g | Carbs: 32g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 520mg