Finals week. The bookstore crush has been shelved (pun intended) because I am a serious academic who has exams and cannot be derailed by a jawline, no matter how structurally impressive.
Communication Theory final: nailed it. The essay question was about applying multiple communication theories to a real-world scenario, and I wrote about military families using literally every theory we'd covered. Uncertainty reduction, relational dialectics, social penetration theory — all of it, all applied to dinner at 1800 and deployment phone calls and the way my mother communicates love through casseroles. I may have written too much. I definitely wrote too much. But it was good.
Public Speaking final: a seven-minute speech on a topic of our choice. I spoke about the invisible labor of military spouses — the cooking, the moving, the solo parenting, the holding-everything-together that no one sees and no one pays you for. I didn't cry. Dr. Marin cried. Two classmates cried. Jess cried and also saluted me from her seat, which was either a joke or completely sincere and with Jess it was probably both.
Journalism final: a portfolio piece. I expanded my military wives article with follow-up interviews and additional research. Professor Kim read it and said, 'This is your best work. Keep going.'
Keep going. That's the instruction. That's the direction. Keep going.
Mom made her celebration pot roast — the same pot roast from every Sunday, but this time she called it the 'end of freshman year pot roast,' which isn't a thing but is now a thing because Donna Abernathy has declared it.
I sat at the dinner table with Mom and Dad and ate pot roast and thought about the person I was a year ago — counting down weeks on a whiteboard, terrified of what came next. I'm still terrified, if I'm honest. But it's a different terror. A better terror. The terror of someone who's found something she might be good at and is afraid of wanting it too much.
Food writing. Military family stories. The human story, as Professor Kim calls it. It's the thing. It might be THE thing. I don't know how to make it a career or a life or anything other than a student magazine article and a really good grade in journalism. But it's there, and it's mine, and I'm going to keep going.
Freshman year: complete. GPA: 3.4 (up from 3.1 in high school, which I'm counting as growth). Published: once. Times I talked to the bookstore Marine: zero (I'm working on it). Pot roasts consumed: approximately forty.
Sophomore year is next. But first: summer. And summer in Virginia means one thing.
Fourth of July at Virginia Beach.
(I don't know yet that this matters. But it does. Oh, it does.)
Mom’s pot roast will always be the official meal of endings and beginnings in our house — but when I went to recreate that same feeling of “we made it, let’s eat something worthy of it,” I kept coming back to these Cowboy Butter Chicken Wings. There’s something about the boldness of the sauce — the garlic, the heat, the brightness of lemon — that feels exactly right for a moment when you’re tired and proud and a little terrified of wanting something too much. These are wings for people who show up, do the work, and then sit down at the table with the people who were rooting for them the whole time.
Cowboy Butter Chicken Wings
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 45 min | Total Time: 1 hr | Servings: 4–6
Ingredients
- 2 1/2 lbs chicken wings, split at joints, tips removed
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 teaspoon baking powder (for crispiness)
- 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
- 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
- 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes (adjust to taste)
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
- 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
- 1 tablespoon fresh chives, finely chopped
- Salt and black pepper to taste
Instructions
- Prep the wings. Pat chicken wings completely dry with paper towels. In a large bowl, toss wings with kosher salt, black pepper, and baking powder until evenly coated. Let them sit uncovered at room temperature for 15 minutes while the oven preheats.
- Preheat and arrange. Preheat your oven to 425°F. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with foil and place a wire rack on top. Arrange wings in a single layer on the rack, making sure they are not touching.
- Bake the wings. Bake for 40–45 minutes, flipping once halfway through, until the skin is deep golden and crispy. The internal temperature should reach 165°F.
- Make the cowboy butter. While the wings bake, melt butter in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Add minced garlic and cook, stirring, for 1–2 minutes until fragrant but not browned. Stir in lemon juice, Dijon mustard, red pepper flakes, smoked paprika, and thyme. Simmer gently for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in parsley and chives. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
- Sauce and serve. Transfer the hot wings to a large bowl. Pour about two-thirds of the cowboy butter over the wings and toss well to coat. Arrange on a serving platter and drizzle with the remaining butter. Serve immediately with extra lemon wedges if desired.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 430 | Protein: 29g | Fat: 34g | Carbs: 2g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 420mg
About the cook who shared this
Rachel Abernathy
Week 57 of Rachel’s 30-year story
· San Diego, California
Rachel is a twenty-eight-year-old Marine wife and mom of two who has moved five times in six years and learned to cook a Thanksgiving dinner with half her cookware still in boxes. She married young, survived postpartum depression, and feeds her family of four on a junior Marine's salary with a freezer full of pre-made meals and a crockpot that has never let her down. She writes for the military spouses who are cooking dinner alone in base housing and wondering if they're enough. You are.
