Copycat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

Clay signed the National Letter of Intent on Wednesday. It was official. Eastern Kentucky University, full scholarship, starting fall 2018. There was a signing ceremony at the school — Clay at a table with the EKU logo and his parents behind him and a pen in his hand. Craig and Connie stood behind Clay while he signed, and a photographer from the Herald-Leader took a picture, and everyone smiled and shook hands and said the right things.

But here's what I noticed that nobody else noticed, or maybe Connie noticed because Connie notices everything: Clay's smile didn't reach his eyes. The pen moved but the joy was... performed. Like he was playing a role. Like he'd studied what a happy signing looks like and was replicating it without feeling it. I know that look because I wore it every morning for seventeen years when I walked into the mines pretending I wasn't afraid. The look of a man doing the expected thing while the real thing sits in his chest like a stone.

Betty watched on FaceTime. She said "Amen." That was her review. One word. She didn't see what I saw because FaceTime is a small screen and Betty's eyes aren't what they were. She saw her grandson signing a paper. She didn't see the space between the signature and the soul.

I'm being paranoid. Probably. Clay is seventeen and just got a full scholarship and maybe the muted reaction is just Clay being Clay — the vault, the granite exterior, the Hensley stoicism that I helped build and now can't read through. Maybe he's thrilled and I'm projecting my own anxiety onto his face. Maybe the recruiter's card on his wall is just a souvenir. Maybe I'm a father who's been carrying the Army fear for eight months and can't put it down even when the scholarship says he doesn't have to go.

This week I made beef and noodles. Comfort food for uncertain times. Brown chunks of stew beef in the Dutch oven. Add onion, garlic, beef broth. Simmer for two hours until the beef is falling-apart tender. Cook wide egg noodles separately. Serve the beef and broth over the noodles with a heavy hand of black pepper and a side of mashed potatoes, because Hensleys don't choose between starches — we take both and deal with the consequences.

Clay ate a big bowl and went to his room. I sat at the table with the leftovers and thought: maybe it's nothing. Maybe the signing was real and the smile was real and the scholarship is the future and the recruiter's card is just paper. Maybe. I'm going to choose to believe that. I'm going to eat my noodles and believe that.

Noodles have always been the Hensley answer to things we can’t fix with words — beef and broth and wide egg noodles ladled heavy over mashed potatoes, or, when the week calls for something simpler and quicker and maybe just a little bit closer to childhood, a pot of mac and cheese that tastes like the box but is made from scratch, because that’s the version I can actually control. After a signing ceremony full of smiles I couldn’t quite read and a week of hoping I’m wrong about what I think I saw, I needed something warm and uncomplicated on the stove — something that didn’t ask anything of me. This is that recipe.

Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 15 minutes | Total Time: 20 minutes | Servings: 4

Ingredients

2 cups elbow macaroni (dry)
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup whole milk, warmed
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon turmeric (for color)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more for pasta water
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 1/2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, freshly shredded
1/4 cup American cheese (about 2 slices), torn into pieces

Instructions

Cook the pasta. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add elbow macaroni and cook according to package directions until just al dente, about 7–8 minutes. Reserve 1/4 cup pasta water before draining. Drain the pasta and return it to the pot over low heat.
Build the sauce base. Add butter to the drained pasta in the pot and stir until melted. Pour in the warmed milk and stir to combine. Add the dry mustard powder, garlic powder, onion powder, turmeric, salt, and pepper, stirring to distribute the spices evenly.
Melt in the cheese. Add the torn American cheese and stir until fully melted and incorporated into the sauce. Then add the shredded cheddar in two additions, stirring after each addition until smooth and creamy. If the sauce is too thick, add reserved pasta water one tablespoon at a time until it reaches a glossy, pourable consistency.
Adjust and serve. Taste and adjust salt and pepper. Serve immediately while hot and creamy. For an extra heavy hand of black pepper on top — the way it’s done at this table — add it right before serving.

Nutrition (per serving)

Copycat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese — The Noodles You Fall Back On When You Don’t Know What Else to Do