Cod with Hearty Tomato Sauce

First full week of January 2023 and I have been carrying a thought since the holidays that I need to say somewhere so I can look at it properly. It has to do with my birth mother.

I do not know anything about my birth mother. I know her name because it is on my foster care paperwork: Crystal Dawkins. I know she was young when I was born and that she was not able to keep me and that by the time I was three months old I was in the foster system and she was gone. I do not know where she is or if she is alive. I have been not-knowing this my whole life in a way that I have mostly made peace with but that resurfaces sometimes in the space between years, in the quiet of January, in the moments when I am building a life and I notice the gap where a foundation would be.

I am not sure why this year feels different. Maybe it is Tyler and the Clarke family and being fully inside a real family for the first time and noticing what it feels like to know where you came from in a different way. Maybe it is Gloria at seventy and James at seventy-seven and understanding in a more concrete way that the people I have built this life around will not always be here and what I will carry forward when they are not. Maybe it is just January and the particular quiet of it.

I have not made any decisions. I am just thinking about Crystal Dawkins, where she might be, what I would say if I found her. I made a bowl of soup and sat with it and did not come to any conclusions. That is where I am.

The soup I made that night was close to this — something with a tomato base, something that needed tending, something that gave me a reason to stand at the stove for a little while before I had to sit back down with my thoughts. This cod with hearty tomato sauce has become the thing I reach for when I need warmth without fuss, when I want a meal that feels like it’s holding me up a little. It doesn’t answer anything. It’s just good, and sometimes that’s enough.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes | Servings: 4

Ingredients

4 cod fillets (about 6 oz each)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small yellow onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 can (28 oz) crushed tomatoes
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
1/2 teaspoon sugar
Salt and black pepper, to taste
Fresh parsley, chopped, for garnish
Crusty bread or cooked rice, for serving

Instructions

Build the base. Heat olive oil in a large, deep skillet or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add the diced onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more until fragrant.
Make the sauce. Pour in the crushed tomatoes and diced tomatoes. Stir in the oregano, basil, red pepper flakes, sugar, and a generous pinch of salt and black pepper. Bring to a simmer and let cook uncovered for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the sauce thickens slightly.
Season the cod. Pat the cod fillets dry with paper towels and season both sides with salt and black pepper.
Simmer the fish. Nestle the cod fillets into the tomato sauce, spooning some sauce over the top of each fillet. Cover the skillet and cook over medium-low heat for 10–12 minutes, until the fish flakes easily with a fork and is cooked through.
Finish and serve. Taste the sauce and adjust seasoning as needed. Scatter fresh parsley over the top and serve directly from the pan with crusty bread or over rice to soak up the sauce.

Nutrition (per serving)

Cod with Hearty Tomato Sauce — Something Warm to Sit With