Citrus Coconut Steamed Cod

Easter. I drove Lourdes to the Easter Vigil on Saturday — which goes from nine PM to past midnight. She does the whole thing. I do most of it. Easter Sunday lunch — pancit, lumpia, pork sinigang, an Easter ham with pineapple. The American holiday food on the Filipino table. The fusion is the family.

Lourdes is 76. She is slower. She still cooks. She still tells me to find a husband even though I have one. Joseph called Saturday. He told me Lourdes calls him every day. He answers every day. The pattern has held for 8 years.

I made pancit Sunday. The long-life noodle. The Filipino default. The dish you make when you do not know what to make.

The blog has four hundred subscribers now who get the posts via email. The subscribers are the loyal core. The loyal core is the chorus.

Angela came over Saturday with the kids. We cooked. We argued about pancit proportions — she uses more soy, I use more calamansi. We are both wrong, according to Lourdes.

Pete texted me Saturday. He retired three years ago. He still texts me Saturday. The friendship is the broth.

I cleaned the kitchen Sunday afternoon. I wiped the stove. I scrubbed the sink. I reorganized the spice cabinet. The cleaning was the small reset. The reset was the marker. The marker said: the week is over, the next week begins, the kitchen is ready.

Auntie Norma called Sunday to ask if I had a recipe for a particular merienda from Iloilo. I did not. I said I would ask Lourdes. I asked Lourdes. Lourdes had it. The chain.

The neighbors invited us over for a small dinner Thursday. They are an Iñupiaq family — Aana and her grandson Joe. We ate caribou stew and rice. I brought lumpia. The kitchens of Anchorage have always been the small UN. The food is the proof.

I took a walk on the coastal trail Saturday. The light was good. The body was tired but moving.

The Anchorage sky was the Anchorage sky. The mountains were the mountains. The inlet was the inlet. The geography was the geography.

The therapy session this month was about pacing. Dr. Reeves said, "Grace. The pacing is the love for the future self." I am working on the pacing. The pacing is harder than the loving.

I checked email at the kitchen table while the rice cooked. There were one hundred and twenty unread messages. I closed the laptop. The unread can wait.

The grocery store had no calamansi. I substituted lime. The substitution was acceptable. The acceptable is the working version of perfect.

I took inventory of the freezer Sunday. The freezer had: twelve quarts of broth, eight pounds of adobo in vacuum bags, six pounds of sinigang base, fourteen lumpia trays at fifty rolls each, three pounds of marinated beef for caldereta, and a small bag of pandan leaves Tita Nening had sent me. The inventory was the proof of preparation. The preparation was the proof of love.

I sat on the balcony in the cold for ten minutes Sunday night with a cup of broth in my hands. The cold was the cold. The broth was the broth. The body held both.

Lourdes called me twice this week. The first call was about a church event. The second was about a recipe variation she had remembered from her childhood. The remembering was the gift.

The light was good Saturday morning. I sat on the porch with a cup of coffee and watched the inlet for forty minutes. The watching was the small therapy. The therapy was free.

The grocery store had no calamansi that week, and I stood in the citrus aisle for longer than I should have. I reached for the limes and decided the substitution was acceptable—which, as I wrote earlier, is just the working version of perfect. This Citrus Coconut Steamed Cod came together later that week from what the freezer offered and what the produce section actually had: bright acid, coconut, a piece of fish that wanted gentleness. After the Easter cooking and the cleaning and the therapy and the balcony cold, gentle felt exactly right.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

4 cod fillets (about 6 oz each), fresh or thawed
1 can (13.5 oz) full-fat coconut milk
2 limes — zested and juiced (or calamansi juice if you can find it)
1 lemon, juiced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, grated
1 tablespoon fish sauce
1 tablespoon soy sauce or coconut aminos
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
3 green onions, thinly sliced, whites and greens separated
Small handful fresh cilantro or flat-leaf parsley, for serving
Steamed rice, for serving

Instructions

Make the steaming liquid. In a wide, lidded skillet or shallow saucepan, combine coconut milk, lime juice, lemon juice, lime zest, garlic, ginger, fish sauce, soy sauce, and the white parts of the green onion. Stir to combine and bring to a gentle simmer over medium heat.
Season the fish. Pat cod fillets dry with paper towels. Season both sides lightly with salt and white pepper.
Steam the cod. Nestle the fillets into the simmering coconut-citrus liquid. They should be partially submerged. Cover with a tight-fitting lid, reduce heat to medium-low, and steam for 12–15 minutes, until fish is opaque and flakes easily with a fork. Do not overcook.
Finish and serve. Remove from heat. Drizzle coconut oil over the fish in the pan and let it melt in. Spoon the coconut-citrus broth over each fillet. Transfer to plates over steamed rice, ladle broth generously over the top, and finish with green onion tops and fresh cilantro.

Nutrition (per serving)

Citrus Coconut Steamed Cod — When the Lime Stands In for the Calamansi