By False alarm. Tuesday night, 2 AM. Megan woke me up and said, "I think it's happening." We drove to the hospital. It was not happening. Braxton Hicks. The practice contractions. The body's dress rehearsal for the real show. We drove home at 4 AM, both of us wide awake and disappointed and relieved in equal measure.
I couldn't sleep after. I went to the kitchen and made scrambled eggs. 4 AM scrambled eggs in a dark kitchen while my pregnant wife went back to sleep and the city was silent and the baby was not yet ready and I was more ready than I'd ever been for anything. The eggs were good. 4 AM eggs are always good. There's something honest about cooking before dawn — no audience, no presentation, just the act of feeding yourself because the body needs fuel and the mind needs something to do.
The week after the false alarm was quiet. Megan nested. She reorganized the nursery — moved the changing table, rearranged the dresser drawers, folded tiny onesies into perfect squares. I watched her fold onesies the size of my hand and I thought, a person is going to wear that. A person so small that a onesie fits in my palm. A person who will grow into someone who fits in a jersey, who drives a car, who falls in love. The trajectory of a life, starting in a onesie.
Made a big pot of Babcia's chicken soup and froze it in individual portions. When the baby comes, we won't cook for days. Maybe weeks. The frozen meals are our insurance policy. The soups, the pierogi, the golabki — all frozen, all labeled, all waiting. An army of meals for the days when we're too tired to cook and too hungry not to eat.
After we got home from the hospital that night and Megan went back to sleep, I stood in the kitchen with nothing but the hum of the refrigerator and a head full of adrenaline — the eggs helped, but what I really wanted was something warm to wrap my hands around while I waited for the city to wake up. I’ve made this chocolate coffee more times than I can count during the quiet pre-dawn hours of this pre-baby limbo, and it never fails to feel like the right call: a little indulgent, a little grounding, and just complicated enough to give the mind something to do at 4 AM.
Chocolate Coffee
Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 5 minutes | Total Time: 10 minutes | Servings: 1
Ingredients
- 1 cup freshly brewed strong coffee (or 2 shots espresso)
- 1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tablespoon granulated sugar (or to taste)
- 1/4 cup whole milk or milk of choice
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Pinch of salt
- Whipped cream, for topping (optional)
- Dark chocolate shavings or cocoa powder, for garnish (optional)
Instructions
- Brew the coffee. Brew one strong cup of coffee or pull two shots of espresso and set aside.
- Mix the chocolate base. In your mug, whisk together the cocoa powder, sugar, and salt with 2 tablespoons of the hot coffee until a smooth paste forms with no lumps remaining.
- Warm the milk. Heat the milk in a small saucepan over medium-low heat or in the microwave for 30–45 seconds until steaming but not boiling.
- Combine. Pour the remaining coffee into the mug over the chocolate paste and stir well to combine. Add the vanilla extract and stir again.
- Add the milk. Pour in the warmed milk and stir gently until everything is fully blended and smooth.
- Finish and serve. Top with whipped cream and a dusting of cocoa powder or chocolate shavings if you like. Drink it while it’s hot, in the quiet, without apology.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 90 | Protein: 3g | Fat: 2g | Carbs: 16g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 75mg