Chocolate Chip Cake Bars

Last week of March. The trees on Ridgeland Avenue have buds. The light comes back at six p.m. instead of four-thirty. I am not someone who notices spring usually but this year I noticed.

School this week was the long slog of standardized testing prep, which is its own kind of hell when your students are not the kids the standardized tests were designed for. I do my best. I make accommodations. I call parents. I sit with kids one-on-one and explain that the test is not the whole story. Some of them believe me. Some of them already know the test is going to call them stupid and there's nothing I can do to undo a system they've been inside their whole lives. That's the part that wears you down. That's the part that makes you write a master's paper at midnight about due process.

Cooking this week was efficient: a sheet pan of chicken thighs and broccoli Sunday, fried rice Tuesday with the leftover chicken and a bag of frozen peas, ground beef stir fry Wednesday, leftover everything Thursday, frozen pizza Friday. Saturday Ryan made breakfast for dinner — pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs — which is his entire culinary repertoire and which I love unreservedly. The twins ate four pancakes between them. Owen put bacon on his pancake and called it a sandwich. Nora separated everything on her plate into specific zones with no contact between food groups. They are three years old and already so themselves.

I went to the cemetery Sunday. Not on the anniversary — I do that in September — but sometimes in the spring when the weather turns I go and just sit. I brought sunflowers because of course. I told Jess about the twins' birthday party, about Wally on the couch holding them, about how I made the meatballs the way her mom used to make them. I sat there for forty minutes. The wind was warm. The grass was starting to come back green. I left and stopped at the Aldi on 95th and bought groceries for the week and went home.

Ryan’s pancake-and-bacon Saturday was exactly what I needed — I didn’t have to think, I just had to sit with the twins and watch Owen build a bacon sandwich and feel, for a minute, like the week hadn’t hollowed me out. But the next morning I wanted to do something small with my hands, something that didn’t ask much of me but gave something back. These chocolate chip cake bars are that kind of recipe: one bowl, straightforward steps, the smell of something warm in the oven while the spring light comes through the kitchen window. I cut them into squares and left half on the counter for Ryan and the kids and ate one standing up before anyone woke up, which felt like exactly the right amount of quiet.

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 16 bars

Ingredients

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup whole milk
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided

Instructions

Preheat and prep. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan or line with parchment paper.
Cream butter and sugar. In a large bowl, beat softened butter and granulated sugar together until light and fluffy, about 2–3 minutes.
Add eggs and vanilla. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in vanilla extract until fully combined.
Mix dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt.
Combine. Add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture in two additions, alternating with the milk, stirring until just combined. Do not overmix.
Fold in chips. Stir in 3/4 cup of the chocolate chips. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan. Scatter remaining 1/4 cup chocolate chips over the top.
Bake. Bake 22–26 minutes, until the top is lightly golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs.
Cool and cut. Let cool in the pan for at least 15 minutes before slicing into 16 squares.

Nutrition (per serving)

Chocolate Chip Cake Bars — Something Sweet After the Long Week