Chocolate Cake -- Something Sweet to Carry Home from Portland

Memorial Day weekend. James and I drove to Portland on Saturday to see Kevin and Lisa. We stayed two nights at their house in the Alberta Arts District — a small bungalow with a yard full of native plants that Lisa tends with the careful attention of someone who used to live in an apartment without a window box. Kevin roasted coffee for us on Sunday morning using a sample roaster he keeps in the garage. He talked about origin and altitude and processing methods for thirty minutes straight, and James — who drinks coffee but has no opinions about coffee — listened politely and asked follow-up questions that I could tell were manufactured. I love James for this. I love that he will listen to Kevin talk about coffee the way Kevin listens to me talk about kimchi: with the generosity of a person who understands that obsession is love wearing work clothes.

Lisa made dinner Saturday night — a Thai-inspired coconut curry with chicken and sweet potatoes. She is a quiet cook, nothing like my intensity or Ming's authority. She adds things slowly, tastes constantly, adjusts with small corrections. The curry was excellent. Kevin ate two bowls and said, "Lisa is the reason I eat vegetables." Lisa said, "Kevin is the reason I buy larger pots." They are good together. They are the kind of good that comes from two people who have seen each other's worst — Kevin's addiction, Lisa's divorce from her first husband — and chose to stay anyway. Not because staying is easy but because leaving would mean losing something irreplaceable.

Kevin and I walked to a coffee shop Sunday afternoon while James and Lisa stayed home watching a Blazers playoff game. We sat outside in the Portland sun — Portland sun exists, it turns out, in May — and Kevin said, "I need to ask you something." I said, "Okay." He said, "Do you ever wonder what our birth parents were thinking? Not Jisoo — I know your story. My birth parents. Do you wonder about them for me?" I said, "Sometimes." He said, "I think about them on holidays. Not every holiday. But the ones that are about family. Like today." I said, "Do you want to search?" He said, "No. I've decided that. But I think about them. I think about whether they think about me." I said, "They think about you." He said, "How do you know?" I said, "Because Jisoo thought about me every day for twenty-eight years. That's what birth parents do. They think about you." He was quiet for a long time. He drank his coffee. He said, "That's either comforting or devastating." I said, "It's both." He said, "Sounds about right for us." We laughed. The Portland sun was warm. The coffee was very good.

James drove home Monday. I slept in the passenger seat most of the way. I dreamed about a kitchen with three stoves — one for Karen's food, one for Jisoo's food, one for food I haven't made yet. The dream was warm and didn't mean anything and also meant everything. I woke up in Centralia and James was singing along to a song I didn't recognize and the car smelled like the coffee Kevin had sent home with us and the world, for a few minutes, was exactly the size of a Honda Civic and contained everything I needed.

The recipe this week is Lisa's coconut curry, which she shared with me generously and which I am reconstructing here with her permission. Coconut milk, a full can. Chicken thighs, cubed. Sweet potatoes, cubed. Thai red curry paste, 2 tablespoons. Fish sauce. Brown sugar. Lime juice. Thai basil if you have it. Simmer the sweet potatoes in the coconut milk until tender. Add the chicken. Cook until done. Season with fish sauce, sugar, lime. Serve over jasmine rice with basil on top. This is not Korean food. This is not my food. This is Lisa's food, made in Kevin's kitchen, in Portland, on a Saturday night when we were all together and nobody was performing anything and the curry was just dinner and dinner was enough.

I made this the Tuesday after we got home from Portland, while the coffee Kevin had sent with us was still fresh and James was reading in the other room. Lisa’s curry had been the weekend’s centerpiece — quiet and excellent and entirely hers — and I wanted to make something that was mine, something to pull the week open with warmth. Chocolate cake is not Korean food. It is not Lisa’s food. But it is the thing I bake when I need the world to be the right size again, and after that conversation in the Portland sun, I needed that very much.

Chocolate Cake

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 35 min | Total Time: 55 min | Servings: 12

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon fine salt
• 2 large eggs, room temperature
• 1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
• 1 cup strong brewed coffee, cooled
• 1/2 cup neutral oil (vegetable or canola)
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened (for frosting)
• 3 cups powdered sugar, sifted (for frosting)
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted (for frosting)
• 1/3 cup heavy cream (for frosting)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (for frosting)
• Pinch of salt (for frosting)

Instructions

1. Preheat and prepare. Preheat your oven to 350°F. Grease two 9-inch round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment paper.
2. Combine dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt until evenly blended.
3. Combine wet ingredients. In a separate bowl or large measuring cup, whisk together the eggs, buttermilk, cooled coffee, oil, and vanilla until smooth.
4. Make the batter. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and whisk until just combined. The batter will be thin — this is expected and correct.
5. Bake. Divide the batter evenly between the prepared pans. Bake 32–35 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs. Do not overbake.
6. Cool completely. Let cakes rest in the pans for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool fully before frosting.
7. Make the frosting. Beat the softened butter on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the sifted cocoa powder and powdered sugar in two additions, alternating with the heavy cream. Add vanilla and salt and beat on high for 1 minute until smooth.
8. Assemble and serve. Set one cake layer on a serving plate and spread a generous layer of frosting across the top. Place the second layer on top and frost the top and sides. Serve at room temperature.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 520 | Protein: 5g | Fat: 24g | Carbs: 74g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 380mg