Cheesy Mashed Potatoes -- The Comfort That Covers You When the Anxiety Arrives

Mid-January. Two months until the book. The countdown has begun and the anxiety has arrived, predictably, on schedule, the way the rain arrives in November. The anxiety says: no one will read it. The anxiety says: the reviews will be bad. The anxiety says: you are not good enough. The anxiety has been saying these things for thirty-eight years and I have been ignoring them for thirty-eight years and the ignoring is the bravery, not the doing. The bravest thing I do is not writing the book. The bravest thing I do is ignoring the voice that says I shouldn't.

I made comfort food all week — nikujaga, oden, miso soup three times a day instead of once. The comfort food is the response to the anxiety, the way a blanket is the response to cold: not a cure but a covering, something warm between you and the thing that chills you. The food covers me. The food holds me. The food says: the voice is lying. The food has never lied.

I went to Powell's bookstore and stood in the food writing section and imagined my book on the shelf. The shelf was three feet from the ground, between "Mangiare" by an Italian food writer and "Nourish" by someone whose name I didn't catch. The imagining was an act of faith: the book will be here. The book will sit between the Italian and the nourisher. The book will face out. A stranger will see it. The stranger will pick it up. The chain of events that begins with a grandmother making miso soup in Sacramento and ends with a stranger in a Portland bookstore holding a book about that miso soup — the chain is almost complete. The chain needs only the book on the shelf. The book will be on the shelf in two months. The chain will hold. It always holds.

Miya asked, "Are you nervous about the book?" I said yes. She said, "Don't be nervous. The book is good. I know because I proofread it." The literary authority of a seven-year-old who caught a spelling error in the galleys is, in this house, absolute and unquestioned. The book is good. Miya said so. The review stands.

The nikujaga and oden carried me through most of the week, but by Friday I wanted something simpler — something that required almost no thinking, only the reliable alchemy of potatoes and butter and cheese turning into something that insists, quietly, that everything will be fine. Cheesy mashed potatoes are what I make when the voice gets loud and I need a recipe that will not argue back. They are not Japanese, and they are not my grandmother’s, but they are warm and they are honest, and right now that is exactly enough.

Cheesy Mashed Potatoes

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 40 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• 3 lbs Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks
• 1/2 cup whole milk, warmed
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces
• 1 1/2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded, divided
• 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more for boiling water
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 2 tablespoons fresh chives, thinly sliced (optional, for garnish)

Instructions

1. Boil the potatoes. Place potato chunks in a large pot and cover with cold, generously salted water. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce to a steady simmer. Cook until potatoes are completely tender when pierced with a fork, about 18–22 minutes. Drain well and return to the pot.
2. Dry the potatoes. Set the pot with the drained potatoes back over low heat for 1–2 minutes, shaking gently, to allow any remaining moisture to evaporate. This step ensures a fluffier, less watery mash.
3. Mash and add fat. Remove the pot from heat. Mash the potatoes with a potato masher or pass them through a ricer until smooth. Add the butter pieces and stir until fully melted and incorporated.
4. Add the dairy. Stir in the warmed milk and sour cream until the mixture is creamy and smooth. Add more milk a tablespoon at a time if you prefer a looser consistency.
5. Melt in the cheese. Stir in 1 cup of the shredded cheddar, the salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Mix until the cheese is fully melted and the potatoes are uniformly creamy.
6. Top and serve. Transfer to a serving bowl and top with the remaining 1/2 cup of shredded cheddar. Garnish with fresh chives if using. Serve immediately while hot.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 340 | Protein: 11g | Fat: 16g | Carbs: 40g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 420mg