Cheesy Grits — The Comfort That Carries You Home

Five years sober by the January 1st count in eight weeks. I find myself noting this before the date, which is new — previously I've arrived at the anniversary rather than anticipated it. Something about anticipation is different from what I expected. It doesn't feel like pressure. It feels like looking forward. I want to be at the river in January. I want to stand there with five years. That's a different relationship with the anniversary than I've had with the previous ones.

Veteran's Day is coming. I'll make Dad's biscuits and gravy the same as I do every year. He'll eat it and say good biscuits and that will be the conversation. The ritual holds its shape. The man doing it is older than he was when it started. That's true of all rituals that last long enough.

Had a good session with Dr. Crain this month. She said something I've been thinking about: that the fact I'm looking forward to the anniversary rather than enduring it suggests I've begun to hold my sobriety as a positive identity element rather than a negative one. Not I am someone who doesn't drink but I am someone who chose this and the choice produced this life and I want the life. She said: That's the goal. You're there. I said I wasn't sure I was all the way there. She said: You're close enough to see it from here.

Made pot roast Sunday — the slow kind, chuck roast with red wine and vegetables, six hours in the Dutch oven. The pot roast that Linda's grandmother taught her, which Linda taught me through letters and a recipe card in the mail four years ago. The food travels the same routes the love does. You can't always separate them.

The pot roast Linda’s grandmother sent me in a recipe card four years ago is still the one I make when I need to feel like something has been tended to — but it’s the sides that keep the table honest. Cheesy grits have become part of that Sunday ritual too, the kind of dish that sits next to the heavy thing and holds it up. There’s nothing in this recipe you have to earn or prove. You just make it slow, you stir it when it needs stirring, and it becomes something warm and real — which, when I think about where I am right now, feels about right.

Cheesy Grits

Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 4 cups water
• 1 cup stone-ground or old-fashioned grits (not instant)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, freshly shredded
• 1/4 cup whole milk or heavy cream
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder (optional)

Instructions

1. Bring water to a boil. In a medium saucepan, bring 4 cups of water to a rolling boil over medium-high heat. Add the salt.
2. Add grits slowly. Gradually whisk in the grits, pouring in a steady stream while stirring to prevent lumps from forming.
3. Reduce and simmer. Reduce heat to low. Cook the grits uncovered for 20–25 minutes, stirring every 3–4 minutes, until thickened and tender. If they begin to stick, add a splash of water or milk.
4. Add butter and cream. Stir in the butter and milk (or cream) until fully incorporated and the texture is smooth and creamy.
5. Melt in the cheese. Remove from heat. Fold in the shredded cheddar, a handful at a time, stirring until melted and smooth. Season with black pepper and garlic powder if using.
6. Taste and adjust. Taste for salt and pepper. Serve immediately while hot, straight from the pot into warm bowls.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 310 | Protein: 10g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 36g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 520mg