Cheesy Crockpot Sausage Rotel Dip — The Other Dish That Fed Thirty

December. Lily turns thirteen on the twenty-first. My baby is becoming a teenager. I have one teenager (Tyler, who's handled it with relative grace), one established teenager (Emma, who's handled it with terrifying competence), and now a new recruit. Lily will be thirteen and I am not prepared. Lily at twelve has been a delight — curious, cooking-obsessed, still young enough to want to hang out with her dad. Lily at thirteen is an unknown. Every parent who's survived a teenager says the same thing: "Thirteen is when they change." I hope Lily doesn't change too much. I hope she keeps cooking and asking questions and running science fairs. But I know that thirteen brings hormones and social pressure and the specific hell of eighth grade, and I can't protect her from any of it. What I can do: cook for her. Feed her. Be there. Show up. The same thing I've been doing since March 14, 2009. Christmas prep has started. This is Christine's year for Eve and morning — I get noon on Christmas Day through New Year's. Same pho plan. Same tradition. The broth will simmer, the presents will be wrapped, and the house will smell like star anise and hope. Emma wants to give Ma a gift this year. Not a store gift — a book. She's been compiling her recipe notebook — the one she started when she was twelve — into a typed document. She's going to print it and bind it and give it to Ma with a dedication that reads: "For Ba Noi, who taught me that the kitchen is where the family lives." I haven't told Ma about this. Emma wants it to be a surprise. It's going to destroy her. In the good way. In the way that Vietnamese grandmothers are destroyed when they discover that their granddaughter has been paying attention all along. Made smoked mac and cheese for the December cookout — the annual Bobby and Hector Christmas edition. His tamales, my mac and cheese, a combined holiday spread that feeds thirty people. The mac and cheese had a little twist this year: smoked Gouda instead of Gruyère, and a sprinkle of crispy shallots on top. Vietnamese-Texan-comfort-food fusion. My whole life in a skillet. Good month. The year is ending. The smoker is running. The family is intact. On to Lily's birthday. On to Christmas. On to the next thing.

The mac and cheese was the showpiece, but any honest cookout host will tell you the dip is what keeps thirty hungry people occupied while the smoker does its slow work. This Cheesy Crockpot Sausage Rotel Dip has been a fixture at the Bobby-and-Hector Christmas spread for years — it goes into the slow cooker before anyone arrives, and by the time the tamales are resting and the mac is coming off the heat, the dip is already half gone. It’s the kind of recipe that asks almost nothing of you and gives everything back, which is exactly what I need in December when I’m already thinking about Lily’s birthday and Christmas broth and whether Emma’s gift is going to make Ma cry.

Cheesy Crockpot Sausage Rotel Dip

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 2 hours | Total Time: 2 hours 10 minutes | Servings: 14

Ingredients

• 1 lb ground pork breakfast sausage (mild or hot)
• 1 block (16 oz) Velveeta, cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1 can (10 oz) Rotel Original diced tomatoes & green chiles, undrained
• 1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened and cut into chunks
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• Tortilla chips, crusty bread, or crackers, for serving

Instructions

1. Brown the sausage. In a skillet over medium-high heat, cook the ground sausage, breaking it up with a spoon, until no pink remains, about 6–8 minutes. Drain off excess fat and set aside.
2. Load the crockpot. Add the cubed Velveeta, cream cheese, and undrained Rotel to a 4-quart or larger slow cooker. Stir in the garlic powder, smoked paprika, and black pepper. Add the cooked sausage on top.
3. Cook low and slow. Cover and cook on LOW for 1 hour 45 minutes to 2 hours, stirring every 30 minutes, until everything is fully melted and combined into a smooth, creamy dip.
4. Stir and hold. Once melted, stir well to incorporate the sausage throughout. Switch the slow cooker to WARM to hold the dip for serving. Stir occasionally if it sits longer than an hour.
5. Serve. Transfer to a serving bowl or serve directly from the crockpot insert with tortilla chips, sliced baguette, or sturdy crackers alongside.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 245 | Protein: 11g | Fat: 19g | Carbs: 7g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 680mg