By Week 496. Fall 2025. I am 42 years old and standing in my kitchen — the Bench house kitchen, the one that held cancer and divorce and cinnamon rolls — and the stove is on and something is cooking and the house smells like cinnamon and falling leaves and this is my life. This is the life I built.
The garden is winding down, the last harvest, and I stood in it this week and thought about dirt and time and the way both of them turn nothing into something if you're patient enough.
Mason is 14 and navigating middle school with the quiet competence that has always been his way — focused, kind, certain of who he is in a way that took me thirty years to achieve.
Lily is 12 and riding horses with the fearlessness of someone who has never considered the possibility of falling.
I made roasted root vegetables this week. The food continues. The food always continues. It is the thread that connects every week to every other week, every year to every other year, every version of me to every other version — the woman on the kitchen floor, the woman at the chemo recliner, the woman at the grill, the woman at the outdoor table under the string lights. All of them, connected by the food they made with their hands. All of them, me.
That cinnamon smell in the kitchen — it wasn’t just from the roasting vegetables. I’d made a batch of this homemade Chai Tea Mix earlier in the afternoon, spooning the spices together while the garden was still on my hands, and by the time the kids came in from the yard the whole house had that particular fall warmth that I’ve come to think of as ours. It felt right to share it here, because it’s the kind of recipe that costs almost nothing to make but somehow gives back enormously — a jar of it on the counter, ready for any version of yourself that needs a quiet moment.
Chai Tea Mix
Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 0 min | Total Time: 10 min | Servings: 24 servings (about 1 1/2 cups dry mix)
Ingredients
- 1 cup nonfat dry milk powder
- 1/2 cup unsweetened instant tea powder
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
- 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, finely ground
Instructions
- Combine dry ingredients. In a medium bowl, whisk together the dry milk powder, instant tea powder, and sugar until evenly blended.
- Add spices. Add the cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, cloves, allspice, and black pepper. Whisk again thoroughly until the spices are fully incorporated and the mixture is uniform in color.
- Store the mix. Transfer to an airtight jar or container. Store at room temperature for up to 3 months. Stir or shake the jar before each use, as spices may settle.
- Prepare a mug. To serve, place 3 tablespoons of mix into a mug. Add 3/4 cup of boiling water and stir until fully dissolved. Adjust the amount of mix to taste — more for a richer, spicier cup, less for something lighter.
- Optional additions. For a creamier chai, stir in a splash of warm whole milk or a spoonful of sweetened condensed milk before serving.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 42 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 0g | Carbs: 9g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 28mg