Cabbage Pasta — The Simplest Pot on the Stove When Your Father Needs You There

Spring practice 2025. First camp without Diego since 2020 and the first one where I have to actively resist comparing every running back to him, which is unfair to whoever is carrying the ball and counter-productive for building what comes next. What comes next: a junior named Jeremiah Cole who ran for 700 yards last year as a backup and who has the hip flexibility and patience to be excellent in this system. He's not Diego. Nobody running the ball next fall will be Diego. What he can be is Jeremiah Cole at his best, which is enough for what we're building.

Sofia qualified for the USA Junior National Track and Field Championships. She's sixteen. She qualified in the 3200 meters with a time that would be competitive at the Division I collegiate level. Her coach called me — as he always does now, with each significant development — and said, "I need you to understand how unusual this is." I told him I understood. I told him she'd been unusual since she ran a half-marathon at eleven. He laughed. He said yes, that's a fair data point.

Hector had a hospitalization this month. Four nights. I drove down on day two — couldn't get there sooner because of spring practice — and stayed through day four. He was tired when I arrived and better when I left. Better being a word I now parse carefully: better than he was Tuesday, not better than he was in 2019. The word has relativized. I hold the relative version and find what's true in it and try not to mourn the absolute version he used to be. He is what he is now. What he is now is still my father and still fully himself in the moments that count.

I cooked for my parents while I was there. Simple meals: refried beans, red chile eggs, the calabacitas from my notebook. Mom stood in the kitchen doorway watching me and I heard her say something quiet that I don't think was for me. It was for herself, or for Ruben, or for time. I kept cooking.

The calabacitas were already in my notebook before I drove down to see my dad — a dish I’ve made so many times it lives in my hands more than on the page — but what I keep returning to from those four days is the quality of the cooking itself: unhurried, quiet, nothing that asked too much of the kitchen or of me. This cabbage pasta carries that same spirit. It’s the kind of thing you make when the point isn’t the food exactly, when the pot on the stove is just a way of being present while someone recovers in the next room. Nothing complicated. Nothing that pulls your attention away from what matters.

Cabbage Pasta

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 8 oz wide egg noodles or pappardelle
• 1/2 medium head green cabbage, cored and thinly sliced (about 4 cups)
• 1 medium yellow onion, halved and thinly sliced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 1/2 teaspoon caraway seeds (optional)
• 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more for pasta water
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/4 cup reserved pasta cooking water
• Grated Parmesan or pecorino, for serving

Instructions

1. Salt and boil. Bring a large pot of well-salted water to a boil. Cook pasta according to package directions until just al dente. Before draining, reserve 1/4 cup of the starchy cooking water. Drain and set aside.
2. Build the base. While the pasta cooks, heat butter and olive oil together in a large, wide skillet over medium heat. Add the sliced onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 8 to 10 minutes until softened and beginning to turn golden at the edges.
3. Add the cabbage. Add the sliced cabbage to the skillet along with salt, black pepper, red pepper flakes, and caraway seeds if using. Toss to coat and cook over medium heat, stirring every few minutes, for 12 to 15 minutes until the cabbage is deeply wilted and caramelized in spots.
4. Finish with garlic. Push the vegetables to one side of the pan, add the garlic to the cleared space, and cook for 60 seconds until fragrant. Stir garlic into the cabbage mixture.
5. Combine. Add the drained pasta to the skillet along with the reserved pasta water, one tablespoon at a time, tossing to coat everything in the glossy, sweet pan juices. Adjust seasoning to taste.
6. Serve. Divide among bowls and finish with a generous grating of Parmesan or pecorino. Eat while it’s hot.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 360 | Protein: 10g | Fat: 13g | Carbs: 53g | Fiber: 4g | Sodium: 410mg