Butternut Squash, Tortellini and Italian Sausage Soup

September. The light turns and the city shifts. Portland in autumn is a different animal than Portland in summer — quieter, grayer, more introspective, which suits me. I have always been an autumn person, a woman whose internal weather matches the external from September to March. The farmers market trades berries for apples, tomatoes for squash. The wheel turns. I stand at my usual booth — Carol's, where the kabocha appears first and the delicata arrives a week later — and I feel the season land in my chest like a homecoming.

I made kabocha soup this week — roasted kabocha blended with dashi, a splash of mirin, a whisper of white pepper. Not Fumiko's recipe — she never blended her kabocha, always cubed and simmered — but mine, a Portland kabocha, pureed smooth and served in Fumiko's chipped bowl. The combination of her bowl and my soup is the whole story: you inherit the vessel and you fill it with your own cooking. The vessel shapes the soup. The soup honors the vessel. Both are necessary. Neither is sufficient alone.

I enrolled in a community writing course at Portland Community College. The course meets Tuesday evenings, six weeks, focused on personal essay. My therapist suggested it. She has been gently pushing me toward the writing for a year, saying things like "Have you considered that writing might be more than a hobby?" and "What would happen if you took the writing as seriously as you take the yoga?" My therapist is sneaky. My therapist is right. I signed up for the course before the anxiety could list all the reasons not to.

Brian noticed the writing course on the calendar and said, "Another class?" The "another" contained everything — his feeling that I do too much, that I am always adding, that the apartment is full of my projects and my ambitions and there is no room for his. He is not wrong about the fullness. He is wrong about the cause. The apartment is not full of my ambitions. The apartment is full of my survival mechanisms, and every single one of them exists because the marriage does not fill the space they occupy.

Miya started her second year at her little preschool co-op. She walked in without looking back. The not-looking-back is both healthy and devastating — proof that she is secure, that the attachment is strong enough to let go, and also a reminder that children are always walking away from you, a little more each year, toward a life that is theirs. I stood in the parking lot and did not cry and drove to the farmers market and bought kabocha and held together.

I didn’t have enough kabocha left after the blended dashi soup to make a second meal, but the farmers market also had a gorgeous butternut that came home with me, and some weeks you need more than one pot of squash—you need squash on Tuesday and squash again on Thursday, each one a small insistence that the season is yours to keep. This soup, thick with tortellini and Italian sausage and the deep gold of roasted squash, is what I made the night before my first writing class: substantial, a little bold, the kind of dinner that says you are staying.

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 50 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

1 lb Italian sausage (mild or hot), casings removed
1 medium yellow onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium butternut squash (about 2 lbs), peeled, seeded, and cut into 3/4-inch cubes
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
4 cups chicken broth
2 cups water
1 tsp dried Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
Salt and black pepper to taste
9 oz refrigerated cheese tortellini
2 cups fresh baby spinach or chopped kale
Freshly grated Parmesan, for serving

Instructions

Brown the sausage. In a large Dutch oven or heavy pot over medium-high heat, cook the Italian sausage, breaking it up with a spoon, until browned and cooked through, about 6–8 minutes. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate and drain all but 1 tablespoon of fat from the pot.
Soften the aromatics. Reduce heat to medium. Add the diced onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more, until fragrant.
Add squash and liquid. Return the sausage to the pot. Add the butternut squash, diced tomatoes with their juices, chicken broth, and water. Stir in the Italian seasoning and red pepper flakes if using. Season with salt and black pepper.
Simmer until squash is tender. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 18–20 minutes, or until the squash is fork-tender but still holding its shape.
Cook the tortellini. Add the tortellini directly to the simmering soup. Cook according to package directions, usually 5–7 minutes, until the tortellini are cooked through and float to the surface.
Finish with greens. Stir in the spinach or kale and cook 1–2 minutes, just until wilted. Taste and adjust seasoning.
Serve. Ladle into bowls and top with freshly grated Parmesan. Serve with crusty bread if desired.

Nutrition (per serving)

Butternut Squash, Tortellini and Italian Sausage Soup — The Bowl You Fill With Your Own Cooking