Mid-September. The cooking classes have expanded to twice monthly, with a waitlist for each session. The demand is outpacing my capacity, and I am beginning to think about the thing I have been avoiding thinking about: scaling. The scaling would mean: a larger space, an assistant, a website separate from the blog, a business plan. The words "business plan" are foreign objects in my vocabulary, the vocabulary of a woman who has operated on instinct and practice for eleven years and who now needs something more structured, something that the instinct cannot provide, something that requires spreadsheets and margins and the specific language of a person who runs a business, which I apparently do.
I made Fumiko's chawan mushi for the cooking class — the steamed egg custard, the most delicate dish, the dish I have been making for eleven years and that still occasionally fails because chawan mushi does not forgive error, does not tolerate rushing, does not accept the half-attention that most dishes will settle for. The chawan mushi demands full presence. The full presence is what I teach: be here, in this kitchen, at this stove, with this egg and this dashi and this cup, and be nowhere else. The nowhere-else is the meditation. The meditation is the cooking. The cooking is the class. The class is the practice, extended to strangers who become students who become cooks who become the next generation of the chain.
I have started thinking about a newsletter — a personal newsletter, separate from the blog, more intimate, more frequent, a direct line from my kitchen to the reader's inbox. The thinking is the forming. The forming is the dashi soaking. The newsletter does not have a name yet. The newsletter does not have a schedule yet. The newsletter has only the idea, and the idea is: what if I wrote to people the way I write in my journal, the way I write at three AM, the way I write when no one is reading? The rawness is the thing. The rawness is what the blog approaches but does not fully achieve, because the blog is public and the public requires a performance, however small. The newsletter could be the kitchen at three AM. The newsletter could be the miso soup before the editing. The newsletter could be the first draft of the life.
After a class built entirely around presence — around the chawan mushi and its refusal to forgive distraction — I found myself wanting to make something else that asked the same thing of me: full attention, no shortcuts, nowhere else to be. Butter meltaways are the Western cousin of that kind of cooking — so simple they look easy, so sensitive to over-handling that they punish the half-hearted attempt. In a week full of spreadsheets and business plans and the foreign language of scaling, I needed a recipe that brought me back to the basics, back to the kitchen at three AM, back to the first draft.
Butter Meltaways
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 32 min | Servings: 36 cookies
Ingredients
- 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar, plus more for rolling
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1/4 teaspoon almond extract (optional)
- 2 cups all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled
- 1/4 cup cornstarch
- 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
Instructions
- Cream the butter. Beat softened butter and powdered sugar together on medium speed until pale and very fluffy, about 3–4 minutes. Scrape down the bowl. Add vanilla extract (and almond extract if using) and beat for 30 seconds more.
- Mix the dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, cornstarch, and salt. Add the dry mixture to the butter mixture and stir gently with a spatula just until a soft dough forms. Do not overwork it — overworking is the enemy here.
- Chill the dough. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. Cold dough holds its shape and bakes evenly; this step is not optional.
- Preheat and prepare. Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
- Shape the cookies. Scoop the dough by rounded teaspoonfuls and roll each gently into a ball between your palms. Place 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets. Press each ball lightly with the flat bottom of a glass to about 1/4-inch thickness.
- Bake. Bake for 10–12 minutes, until the edges are just barely set and the tops look dry but not golden. These cookies should not brown — the moment you see color, pull them. They will look underdone. They are not.
- Cool and finish. Let cookies rest on the pan for 5 minutes — they are too fragile to move immediately. Transfer to a wire rack. While still slightly warm, dust generously with powdered sugar. The sugar melts into the surface just slightly, and that is exactly right.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 85 | Protein: 1g | Fat: 5g | Carbs: 9g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 18mg