Buffalo Chicken Ranch Potato Croquettes

Jayden turned two. TWO. My baby, who was a six-month-old when his father walked out, who took his first steps in a rented house in Antioch, who eats everything that isn't food and some things that are, who says "Coco" and "no" and "LIGHT!" and "MINE" — my baby is two years old and he is the loudest, stubbornest, most joyful person I've ever known.

The party was at Mama's. Small. Perfect. Tanisha brought Maya. Mrs. Patterson came (because Mrs. Patterson goes everywhere she's invited and some places she's not). Mama made her potato salad because Lorraine Mitchell cannot attend a gathering without potato salad — it's like a law. I made the cake: yellow, chocolate frosting, Smarties on top, two candles. Lopsided. Beautiful.

Jayden didn't understand blowing out candles. He stared at the fire with the fascinated terror of a cave person discovering light. I helped him blow. Chloe "helped" by blowing so hard she sprayed spit across the entire cake. We ate it anyway. Spit cake. Two-year-old birthday spit cake. This is family. This is what it looks like up close — imperfect, sticky, covered in frosting and saliva, and completely, irreplaceably wonderful.

Wanda sent a gift: a set of rubber balls in a mesh bag, all different colors. Jayden carried the bag around like a tiny Santa Claus for the rest of the day. He slept with it. He woke up with it. He named them all "ball." Every single one is "ball." He is efficient with language.

Marcus did not call. Marcus did not text. Marcus did not acknowledge that the son he helped create turned two. I noticed. I always notice. But I noticed the way you notice weather — it's there, it affects the day, but you go outside anyway.

Kevin sent a video message: "Happy birthday, little man! Uncle Kevin loves you!" Jayden watched it eleven times. He yelled "KEH-BA!" at the phone, which is his version of "Kevin." Kevin, if you're reading this: your nephew calls you Keh-ba, and that is your name now, and you will accept it with grace.

I made Jayden's "birthday dinner" — chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, because he is two and those are the two food groups that matter when you are two. I also made green beans because I am a mother and mothers put vegetables on plates even when they know the vegetables will be ignored. The green beans were ignored. The chicken nuggets were inhaled. The mac and cheese was worn as a face mask. My son is two. He is alive and loud and covered in cheese and he is the best thing that ever happened to me, except for Chloe, who is the other best thing, and you can't rank your best things, so they are both the best, simultaneously, forever.

After Jayden inhaled those chicken nuggets like oxygen, I knew I needed to level up the crispy-chicken-bite game for next time. These Buffalo Chicken Ranch Potato Croquettes are everything a two-year-old (and his mama) could want — golden, crunchy, stuffed with chicken and potato, and perfectly sized for little hands that would rather eat than sit still. They’re birthday-party food that the Mrs. Pattersons of the world will love too, and yes, they survive being worn as a face mask almost as well as the mac and cheese did.

Prep Time: 25 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 45 minutes | Servings: 6 (about 24 croquettes)

Ingredients

2 cups cooked chicken, finely shredded
3 cups mashed potatoes, cooled
1/2 cup buffalo sauce
1/2 cup ranch dressing, plus more for dipping
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
3 green onions, finely chopped
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup all-purpose flour
3 large eggs, beaten
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
Vegetable oil for frying

Instructions

Make the filling. In a large bowl, combine shredded chicken, mashed potatoes, buffalo sauce, ranch dressing, cheddar cheese, green onions, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Mix until everything is evenly incorporated. Refrigerate for 15 minutes to firm up.
Shape the croquettes. Using about 2 tablespoons of mixture per croquette, roll into oval or log shapes. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Set up the breading station. Arrange three shallow bowls: one with flour, one with beaten eggs, and one with panko breadcrumbs. Roll each croquette in flour, dip in egg, then coat in panko, pressing gently so the crumbs adhere.
Fry until golden. Heat about 2 inches of vegetable oil in a heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven to 350°F. Fry croquettes in batches of 4–5 for 3–4 minutes, turning occasionally, until deeply golden and crispy on all sides. Transfer to a wire rack set over a baking sheet.
Serve immediately. Let croquettes cool for 2–3 minutes, then serve with extra ranch dressing for dipping. For a milder kid-friendly version, reduce buffalo sauce to 2 tablespoons and increase ranch to 3/4 cup.

Nutrition (per serving)

Buffalo Chicken Ranch Potato Croquettes — The Only Food Group That Matters When You’re Two